Teenagers & Inner Beauty Day

Last week my daughter's school had "Inner Beauty Day". A day where everyone comes to school with no makeup, their hair undone and they try and be happy about it. I thought this was a good idea, but I was doubtful my teenager would participate. Boy, oh boy did she surprise me! Not only was she going to participate, but she helped to design the t-shirts..........

She came up with the logo, color and all. Yes, I'm bragging. Just a little. The whole idea was for kids to participate, to want to participate, so they had the t-shirts made and sold them to help raise money. They also made up cards to give to the boys so they could pass them out to the girls who came to school "rockin' their inner beauty". Some of the cards said things like "You are beautiful, inside and out" or "Love the REAL you!". Cute things like that. Raven did go to school au naturel and came home smiling saying "It was a good day". Then she went on to tell me how horrible some of her teachers looked. -_- And I quote..."Sorry, Mom, but pregnant women NEED makeup. Mrs. XXXXX looked dead. That was just scary!" Lovely, Raven...just lovely. Typical teenager. LOL!!!!

My Teenager Will Be The Next Trashy Romance Author

Ever since Raven was a little girl she had the most active imagination. Sometimes a little too much. I was actually called to her preschool because of a story she told to the class during story time. Let's just say at that time I thought she'd be the next Stephen King! I have never been one to stifle her imagination, I encourage it. So last week when she came to me and said "I wrote a story and I want you to read it and tell me what you think" I was all like "SUUUUURE!!"....then I read the story. Let's just say that I had to put it down and take a deep breath. Now, there was nothing horrible about the story, no sex or anything like that, but it was definitely a bit too mature for a 14 year old to be writing. Now what was I supposed to do?!?! Was I supposed to be honest, or let her just go with it? I decided to tell her how I felt. So I told her..."Raven, it's a good story, but it's a bit too mature for you to be writing, but I don't want you to stop. Just keep it clean, no sex" Boy, oh boy she can not take constructive criticism. "Whaddayamean?!?! There was nothing bad in it!!!! WHADDAYAMEAN?!?!?!" Oh the drama. She snatched the story out of my hand and stomped off to her room and slammed the door. Geesh. Now I'm pretty sure she'll not ask me for my opinion for a while. And taking a picture of it to post here was totally out of the question. HAH!

Teenagers Do NOT = Help

I can't tell you how many times someone has said to me...."Oh, you have a teenager? She must be loads of help!" I only stand there and try not to laugh hysterically in their face. Just because there is someone above the age of preschooler does not mean they are capable, willing or able to help. When my son was born my oldest daughter was 10 years old. And yes, she was helpful. She was also still cleaning her room without me asking, too. All that ended when she turned 12. I don't know what happened, maybe it was her starting her period, maybe it was her being influenced by her friends, or maybe evil aliens came down, kidnapped my sweet little girl and replaced her with the demon teenager that resides here now. Who knows!! One thing I do know is this......I am not alone. Every parent I talk to that has a teenager says the same thing...."Oh my gawd! My kid is the same way!! I want to strangle him/her" Boys are no different than girls, either. So, Moms of all boys, don't get your hopes up. :D heheheee!!

Don't get me wrong, Raven is really helpful at times, but, I have to talk to her like she's 5 and write everything out for her to actually see/read and check off as she goes. And the entire time all I hear is "UGHH!!! Mumble, mumble, mumble. Moan and groan!!!" -insertstompinghere- It's a constant battle. Babysitting? Forget it!! She will babysit, but everything has to be done for her a head of time and Lo has to be sleeping when we leave. Last night she watched both kids for an hour and I swear I will never hear the end of it..."See, Mom?! I can babysit Lex without killing him! You owe me a new piercing" -_-  And on and on. So she does help, but sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth. I really can't complain though. She does well in school, she's not doing drugs or drinking, she only mouths off occasionally and she still acts like she loves us.....sometimes.

So if you're sitting there staring at your darling little child and thinking to yourself..."HAH! She's nuts. My kid will never be like that. Ever!" I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. Don't take it personally.

Contrary To Popular Belief, I Do NOT LIke Being Called A MILF.....

I was only 21 when I gave birth to my oldest, who is almost 15, you do the math. When she started Kindergarten all of her little friends would say..."Raven, your Mom is so nice." Then came elementary school and he friends would say, "Raven your Mom is cool!!" Then came middle school. Everything changed. Once it was everyone had the same opinion, now the opinions differ between the boys and the girls. The girls: "Raven, your Mom is scary. Pretty, but scary!".....the boys: "Raven your Mom is HOT!!! Tell her I said I." -_- There is one boy who kinda takes it a little too far and Raven always has to shut him down. One of his favorite comments is "Hey, Raven...can't wait till you grow up and look like your Mom. So HOT!!" That's when she gets a bit upset and has to tell him to shut his dirty mouth. She hates it. She thinks it's gross and wishes I'd wear a burlap bag and no makeup. LOL!! It's just not "cool" when you're a teenager, you know? I feel the same way. Just knowing that little 12-14 year old boys are checking me out makes my stomach hurt. I joined a parent group that meets twice a month at the high school to talk about issues the kids are having, organize tutoring help and other boring parent things. When I told Raven about it, she asked me to not wear makeup when I go to these meetings, you know, just in case I run into some of her friends. -_- My husband thinks it's great that I'm considered a "MILF". Me, not so much. It's creepy!!!!! Little boys lookin' at you, thinking nasty thoughts. UGH! Now.....when she goes to college, that's a different story!
 

I Am Officially The Mom Of A High Schooler

My gawd. When did that happen?! Seems like yesterday I was sitting in the hospital room holding a tiny baby and wondering..."What do I do now?!" Now, she's all grown up and moving on to high school. -insertgroaninghere- I hope and pray that the next school year goes by smoothly. For her getting her foot in the door without someone smashing it to pieces, means a lot. She is so afraid that people will hate her, people will be mean to her and that is stressing her out more than anything else. Being a Freshman is not as bad as people and movies make it out to be. Seriously, it isn't, but trying to tell that to a hormonal 14 year old girl, is. -_- Why can't they just realize that we Moms are always right?!?!?

14 Years Ago Today At 2:32 A.M.........

I became a Mother for the very first time. I remember it like it was yesterday. I went into labor on Valentine's day and I had promised my friend and my sister that I would run a bunch of errands for both of them since they were working. What I remember most was my friend's husband saying to me....."Now Nina, you know that today is a good day to go into labor, right? Don't do that!" :D I took off bright and early, despite the cramps I was having every 15-20 minutes. Did I mention that there was a snow storm going on that day? No? Well there was!! I had to go the the grocery store for my sister, pay some bills for my friend and then I had to get all the kids off the bus or at school since they decided it should be a half day because of the snow. I got Diamond and Pearl (yes, that's their names!) first, then went as fast as the snow would allow me to my sister's house so I could be there when the bus dropped Bekah off. I remember pulling up right as the bus was about to pull away, I ran to the doors to reassure the bus driver that I was Bekah's Aunt and the bus driver said...."Hey, you know today's a good day to have a baby don'tcha'?"..... "So I've heard!!" I replied. -_- As I carried Bekah to the car I had a really bad contraction. So bad that I had to stop and breath. That's when I knew I was in labor for real. It was 11:45 a.m.! I went about my day all the while stopping to breath and think about what was happening. I was going to be a Mommy soon!! I wasn't at all terrified, really. I was just calm. There was nothing I could do to stop it, so I was just going with the flow.

My friend was having a "Single's Valentine's Day Party" at her house, and seeing as I was single and all I went! I showed up there trying not to let on that I was in pain so people would just have a good time and not worry about me. We talked, laughed, I almost peed my pants, I ate a whole box of Apple Jacks (sooooo good!!!), then we talked about life in general, we laughed some more and the entire time I was trying not to let anyone know that my contractions were less than 10 minutes apart. A very good friend of mine who is the Father of 4 beautiful little girls did notice that I was in pain and pulled me aside to ask me hoow close I was. I just laughed and said....."Hahahaa.....it's not that bad! Their about 8-10 minutes apart but I can manage!" He just looked at me and said...."First of all, good for you. But you do know that you should go in because this is your first and you're contracting less than 10 minutes apart, right?" I refused to listen and we all sat there and timed my contractions for about an hour. The excitement was beautiful!! My baby was coming!

About 9 p.m. I thought that it was time to call into work and tell them that I wasn't coming in and it was also time to call my doctor. I started really contracting at 11:45 a.m. and finally got to the hospital at 9:45 p.m.! When I checked in they couldn't believe I had been in labor all day and didn't call. They got me all settled in, checked me and I was 6 cm dilated!! At the time I had no idea what they were talking about and didn't want to know either! My doctor came in at 11 p.m. to talk to me about pain relief and told me my options. I had already made up my mind to do it
the the "old fashion way"! He smiled and left.

For the next few hours my sister sat by my side and coached me through the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life! At 12:30 a.m. she left to get some food and something to drink. While she was gone I projectile vomited all over the curtains! Boy was she glad she missed that! My nurse, on the other hand, saw the whole thing and had to clean it up. She hated me after that. HAH! About 30 minutes is when the real fun started! I remember looking at my sister during a very long, painful contraction and saying...."I can't do it anymore. I'm dying!" and I promptly passed out for a blissful minute until the next contraction hit. My sister asked the nurse to check me at 1:45 because she thought I was really close, but when she checked me I was only 8.5 cm and not ready. At that point I felt it as time to "take myself away", forget what was going on and just breath. At 2:15 I had the worst contraction ever and I felt my pelvis bone separate. Talk about painful!! That's when I felt the urge to push. I looked at my sister and said..."It's time. Raven is coming! I HAVE TO PUSH!!!!!!!!!". She ran out of the room to get the nurse, they came back in and the nurse had the balls to say....."I just checked her. There is no way she has to push already!" First of all, birthing a child has no rules. You can't follow a birth plan or any other kind of plan. IT JUST HAPPENS! My sister looked at her and said...."You should call her doctor if you're not up to checking. We don't want to bother you! Oh wait! This is your JOB, isn't it?! CHECK HER!! SHE'S PUSHING!!" The nurse actually rolled her eyes as she put her gloves on. Imagine the look on her face when she went to check me and couldn't get past my baby's head. She said...."Nina, you need to NOT push. Breath!" I looked at her with my huge brown eyes and said...." I don't know HOW to NOT push!!!!!!!!" then I grabbed her coat and ripped it. HAH! At that point she became sympathetic and said....."This will be hard, but pant like a dog!!! 2 minutes and the doctor will be here!!" There was no way I was not going to push. A friend of mine lost her son in the birth canal because they told her to not push, wait on the doctor. But I panted through a few, then pushed once just because I wanted a doctor present to deliver my baby. Finally my doctor ran in with about 5 other doctors, because I had maconium in my water, he didn't even bother to put on scrubs, he just dove right in! He looked at me and said......"You ready? You're baby's head is right there, let it out. Just push when you need to!" One push and her arm and head came out. Everyone just giggled and gasped at the sight before them. There was my baby, eyes wide open and looking around!! Second push and out came her whole body! I got to hold her for about a second and in that second we locked eyes, then they whisked her away to clear her lungs.

While I was being stitched up and trying to see what was going on over at the baby table my sister looked at me and said....."Don't worry, I'll see what's going on. " I tried to sit up to see but my doctor insisted I relax while I had the chance. Then all of a sudden all the doctors and nurses caring for my baby started laughing and gasping! I just KNEW something was wrong! But no, my sister came over all smiles and said......"Of course your daughter is over there smiling! She's smiling, Nina!!!" No one could believe it, except me. I knew she was perfection. And I knew she was happiness. So her smiling didn't surprise me one bit. When the nurse handed her to me for the first time I looked at her and sure enough, she smiled. :)

I regret not having a camera then, I wish I had one to take pictures of "the smiling baby" just to prove it all. To this day that is what she is remembered as....."the smiling baby". It didn't stop there. My baby was rolling at 2 weeks, sitting up at 4 months, cruising at 5 months and full on walking alone at 7 months. She is amazing and I love her so!!! And to this very day I still wake up around 2:32 a.m., which is when she was born and even when she's 20 something I will still wake up every February 15th at 2:32 a.m.!!! I am so very proud to say...."That's my daughter!!!"

My First Born

Next week my first born child will turn 14. Yes, 14 years old. Just 4 years shy of being "legal".  Just 2 years shy of getting her driver's permit. 14 years have gone by in a flash. I blinked. When will I learn not to blink?! She was born naturally, came into this world with her eyes open and a smile on her face. Not much has changed. Well, except that she is now almost taller than me. :) She is growing into a smart, beautiful young woman with a mind of her own and I couldn't be prouder. It isn't easy, raising a teenage girl, but I hope that I'm doing a good job. Now..........let's see if we can make it to 18 without one of us trying to kill the other. :)

Half Drinks And Dirty Things.....Or What My 3 Year Old Thinks Of My 13 Year Olds Room

If you have a teenager then you pretty much already know what this is about. :) Yesterday, after his bath, my son was standing in my daughter's bedroom door saying things like..."Yuck!" or "GROSS!" or "SisSis needs to clean her room!". Yes, it was that bad. If a 3yr old  thinks your room is disgusting then it really is disgusting and should be cleaned ASAP. Let me go back about 8-10 years, when my daughter was just a little girl. She was so sweet, helpful, neat and her room was always clean!! No, I didn't clean it, she did! You can imagine all the wonderful things that were running through my head back then....."I'm so lucky to have such a helpful, clean child." or "My kid will never be like the other teenagers I know." or, this is my favorite...."I feel so sorry for all the other Moms I know, they're kids are horrible! Thank GAWD my kid will always be as sweet as she is now!" -_- So delusional. I had every right to brag and think she'd always be as, well, perfect as she was. She was! Sweet, highly intelligent, neat and most of all........my little girl.

Then one day it all changed. She no longer hung things up. She started not making her bed. She would leave glasses, of whatever it was she was drinking, laying around her room. She didn't hang the towels up anymore. She left lights on. She stopped opening her windows. She started hanging pictures of boys on her wall. She put a sign on her door that says..."RAY-VEN'S ROOM!! KEEP OUT!! AND KNOCK FIRST BEFORE ENTERING!!!!!" -_- What happened?! Where did I go wrong?!?!?! I set out on a mission to find out all I could on this new breed of child living in my house......the teenager. Some of the things I read blew my mind!!!!! I could NOT believe what I was in for. At one point I just buried my face in my hands and kept saying......"I give up. I can't do this".  Then I called my sister and talked to her at length about her daughter who is about 6 years older than Raven. She told me things that made a lot of sense. First off....it's all about them!! They're slobs. All they want to do is lounge around. Chores are well, chores, and they hate doing them. Anything that requires them to leave their caves is considered torture. Take nothing they say personally. They're the victims. "So unfair" will be in almost every sentence my daughter says until she's 20 years old. We parents are uncool and aren't allowed to talk around they're friends. If they come to you and say..."I love you!", they probably want something. And again......take nothing they say to heart, they probably don't mean it.

So when my son said to me yesterday..."Mommy, SisSis's room is gross. It has half drinks and dirty things in it.", I was not surprised. As a matter of fact, I just laughed. I did make her clean her room as soon as she got home from school though. :) As much as I'd like to control things around me, I have to remember that parenting isn't about control, it's about letting things go and picking and choosing my battles. Some things aren't worth getting angry over. Oh....and never say never!

Rethinking The H1N1 Shot

Why? Because my teenager is lying in her bed with a fever of a 101.1 and that's with medicine in her. She can't move, her back hurts, head hurts and joints hurt. My kid is NEVER sick. And guess what? She is the only one who didn't get a flu shot. Not that the regular flu shot would have prevented this at all, but I'm holding my breath and hoping that my 3 year old and my 18 month old don't catch it. I have been cleaning, Lysoling and Clorox wiping every thing in site!! The toys are next. I just keep thinking about Raven holding Lola, kissing Lex and drinking out of my glass!! It's spreading so easily!! 36 kids in her school were out yesterday. :( Think they closed the school? NO! They just keep spreading it to the other kids!!! It's kinda pissing me off. But then again, I'm a germaphobe, so I think in terms of "what if", so I try to prevent things from getting worse. Anyway. As it looks, she's got it and her doctor will treat her even if it's not the swine flu just to help her get through this faster. ((sigh))