I've Made A Terrible Mistake......

When my oldest was born I was all like...."Yeah yeah yeah.....I got this. I won't talk to her like she's a baby, I won't homeschool her. I won't spoil her. I won't blah blah blah...". Then Lex was born and I was  all like "OH MY GOD HE IS NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE!!!!" See what getting old does to you? It makes you weak! Just terrible. For four years my son was always with me. We did everything together, the park, Chuck-E-Cheese, shopping....everything! He was never away from me. And he was very shy. His Dad and I thought that putting him in preschool would help him come out of his shell. It didn't. Then came Kindergarten and we were so sure that this would be the year he really shined and showed everyone the brilliant child we saw at home every day. It wasn't. First grade......I won't even talk about first grade. It was so bad that I actually contemplated homeschooling him. That is actually what I really wanted to do. I wanted to keep him home, safe, with me. Forever. But I didn't. We were moving to a new town and I thought "One more year. Let's give this school a chance. Maybe it isn't him." and here we are, second grade, a new school and a new teacher. And things are still the same. BUT, his teacher isn't like the others. She has taken the time to actually look deeper, and she has seen what we see every day. She just can't get him to to show it. And do you know why??? Because of me. Me and my "OMG HE IS NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE!!!" I have bottled my son up and he is now only comfortable with us, his family. We are all he knows. He doesn't play sports, he doesn't go to any after school programs, he isn't a part of any groups.....just us. He does not know how to socialize. And here everyone thought the homeschooled kids were the awkward ones who weren't socialized. Nope. Or the kids who some people feel bad for because they do go to after school programs and not straight home to their families. We judge those parents, how dare they not coddle their children?? When in all actuality, they aren't doing anything wrong, they are doing something right. Teaching their children how to be independent, how to rely on themselves. How to make friends. Lex doesn't know how. :( And it is all my fault.

I remember sitting on that tiny chair last Thursday at 8:10pm and saying the words "No, he doesn't have any friends....just....us....OMG THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!" His teacher was so nice. She gave me advice on how to help....."get him out of the house". :( FINE! I sat Lex down and said "You know, bud, we are the only ones you ever hang out with, and as much as I hate it, I need to let you go, go out and make new friends", and of course his response was "Oh, Mom. I am so sorry you're having to do this." LOL! Such a sweet little boy.

So that is what I plan on doing. I plan on helping him go out into the world and make friends and show everyone the brilliant, funny, sweet, kind and loving boy that we see every day......even if it does kill me. :)

Mom~

Moving...Moving....Moving.....Eventually

Todd and I want to move. We want a place that is just ours. We can start fresh! We need this. And also, we need a bedroom with a door. The kids share the upstairs with us, but it's an old attic with a small room with a door to the kids' room. We had to get creative and hand bells on the doors and we turn the monitor on....just in case. I don't want to traumatize my children by having them walk in on us, you know, making whoopie or whatever you call it when you're a grownup. So yeah, the hunt is on!! We're thinking of renting a crappy 3 bedroom apartment for a few years then buying a house. I want a farm. I want/need/gotta have chickens. And lots of them. I wonder if Polish chickens lay good eggs. I'm going to have to google that! Ok, just googled it and apparently they do, just not regularly. And also, there's a whole message board dedicated to Polish chickens. Unbelievable. Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is a Polish chicken.....

That thing is stylin'!!! Lex loves this picture. :) 

So yeah, life is good, busy, hectic and fun. We're doin' alright :)

Me~

A New Addition.......

NO! Not a baby! AHHHH! We have a new kitten! Well, Lex has a new kitten. She's  his "baby girl, love bug, Flufferton". Yes, he named her Fluffy. Of course!! Can you tell he's smitten? The boy is so in love with this cat that she's the first thing he runs to when he gets home from school. And she's just great!! Such a good kitten, too. She's sweet, cuddly and isn't afraid of the kids. Just perfect.......

And yes, she was hugging Lex in that last picture. The cuteness almost killed me. :) Everyone is so happy that we have a new kitten, but all I keep thinking about is how many mice she's going to kill for me. ;)

Me~

6

A certain little boy turned 6 on Saturday. A certain special little boy. One who stole my heart the moment he was born. Right before my eyes I've watched him grow into the sweetest little boy I've ever met. He's my little scientist who loves to make things, he's a time traveler who insist on taking his baby sister back to 1985 with him. He can't walk by me without saying "Hi, Mommy. I love you". He loves our alone time when I read his favorite book to him. We're almost finished and he's already planning our trip to the bookstore to get the next one. We had family over Saturday for cake and ice cream and it was a good day. I still can't believe how fast these 6 years have flown by........

Me~

I Really Need To Stop Blinking.....

Every time I blink one of my kids reaches a new milestone that I am totally unprepared for. Just 3 weeks ago Lex and I realized that his tooth is loose. This is huge, people!!! Huge!! He hasn't left that thing alone since he realized it was lose. Needless to say, it fell out a few days ago as his Dad was picking him up from school. To say he was excited would be an understatement. He hasn't stopped smiling since. :D

He makes me smile. :) 

ALMOST Wordless Wednesday....

I can't just not say something about the pictures I'm about to post, because, ya know, they are pretty damn funny. My son is now in Kindergarten and they're doing all kinds of work. He brings home paper after paper after paper every. single. day! So yesterday I open up his bag and take out the endless amounts of paper and start sorting through them. Then I come across "the feelings book". I open it up and I immediately let out a very unladylike laugh. Here's the first picture......

I don't even know where to start! That is supposed to be a "happy" person, but to me it looks like a troll wearing earrings. Or a spider. I don't even know. All I know is that it is creative and hilarious!!! And yeah, it does look very happy!!! Good job, Lex!!

This one is my favorite. The face is perfectly drawn to express the "sad" look. I asked Lex why he looked like he was upside down and he said "He's sad because he fell". Again.....well done, my boy!!

This is how I feel everyday. All day, everyday. I give this one a thumbs up!!

Now, I know what happened here. This is the last picture and, knowing my son like I do, he got tired of this project and just threw something down. When I asked him why this one wasn't drawn like the others, why there was no body, he replied "I was toooo tiiiired, Mom. It was boring me! Can I have the stapler now? I need to make something". There ya have it! 

He was at work with me yesterday for a few hours after school and, like always, he enjoys making his own projects. He worked on this one for about 20 minutes.......

You can't see it in the picture, but he had stamped the logo of the store all over the bag and papers so "just in case he gets lost people know where he belongs". Now, he spent a good 20 minutes on this and didn't complain once about "being too tired" or "being bored", he's an artist that likes to go at his own pace. :) 

Oh, by the way, since the Orkin Man never showed up and I haven't found a Navy Seal walking around my neighborhood yet, I've taken matters into my own hands......

Take THAT spiders!! YEAH!! On a side note, while I was searching for Navy Seal pictures THIS one came up. Ladies, you're welcome. I don't even know if he's a real Seal or not, who cares?!?!?!

Irrational Mommy Fears.....Part II

I've talked about irrational Mommy fears here before, but now I have a whole new set of irrational fears now that Lex is in full-time school. When I drop him off he has to walk all by himself to his line outside his classroom door. That's when I stand there and wait till he walks in and I know he's safe. Then it starts, the worrying. "What if he needs me and starts crying, then runs out of the class and down the street searching for me, all the while screaming MOMMY!!!!! over and over again?!?!" That's when I have to keep from crying my eyes out. The "What ifs" are never ending. I hate that I can't walk him to his line. I hate that I can't homeschool him. I hate that he doesn't really like going to school. I just hate it all!!! Another huge fear of mine is some kid losing his mind and taking a gun to school and shooting up Lex's kindergarten class. I know that's a bit much, but I think of it almost daily. I have to force myself to not think about horrible things that could happen to my kids. It's just an awful feeling and I know you know what I'm talking about. I actually try not to go too far from town, ya know, just in case. It's ridiculous. I am trying harder to have pleasant thoughts and to not worry so much, but gosh, it's hard. :(

I'm Raising A Mad Scientist......Or A Future Bomb Expert

Lex has always loved hands on experiments. Now that he's "all grown up and a man now" he want to try new things. His goal for the Summer is to do experiments that "explode". He says "But don't worry, Mom!! It's ok. I know what I'm doing!!". Visions of my house in flames and the fire fighter's trying to save what they can flashed through my mind and right then and there I knew I had to do something. So we got him all kinds of science sets that are safe. A science kit that makes candy, another one that makes goo and dough and things like that. He likes them, but he still talks about making things explode. -_- More of a concern now is that he likes to sit with the iPad and look at YouTube videos on how to make things......things like laser lighters. No, I am not kidding. Watch the video! I was spittin' mad at my husband for letting him watch things like that in the first place!. I mean, damn!!! The boy is sharp and a quick learner!! Look at what I caught him doing the other day.........

That's right, folks. The boy was trying to open this battery to get what was in it out to start making his laser lighter. ((sigh)) This is dangerous. So not only do I have to worry about him blowing things up I also have to worry about him making a laser and possibly destroying the earth. Lovely. He's a cute little Mad Scientist though......

Ok, so I threw that middle one in just because it cracks me up. LOL!!!

15 & 5

I am now the proud Mother of a 15 year old daughter and a very grown up 5 year old boy. It's been a very crazy, hectic 2 months around here. So much to do and hardly any time to do it. Throw in all the sickness and well, you get NO TIME!!! I'm so ready for Spring. Anyway. The teenager got a new iPod touch, money and a new phone. She is now "just like all her friends". -_- I want her iPod. It has a camera in it!! Not that my camera isn't great, but just imagine all the social networking I could do with that thing. Yes, I am addicted to Twitter. Follow me. :D When I gave the teenager her phone I said...."With great technology comes great responsibility......be responsible. Please." It's a shame that in this day and age I have to even worry about my teenager sending inappropriate pictures, or sexting or cyber bullying. Ugh. It's just the way things are now. I have to hope she's learned from past mistakes and doesn't do something stupid. But then again, we are talking about teenagers......they don't think. They feel. They're so emotional. The important thing is this....she is happy, I can get in touch with her whenever I need to and I can stalk her online. LOL!!!

My son is now 5. He woke up on cloud 9 yesterday. Jumping around, telling me repeatedly that he is now 5 and is growing up and can do everything on his own. Except make pancakes. Because "only you can make the best pancakes, Mom. YOU MAKE THE BEST PANCAKES!! UHHH!!!" :D I'm proud to be the best pancake maker. We got him a new magic trick, a set of magnets and a science kit. He's in to science and magic. Interesting combination. :D He sat at the dining room table almost all day playing with his stuff. We made some glow in the dark goo and had a blast. If you're interested in the recipe here it is...

• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• 30 ml water
• 2-3 drops of food coloring or choice

Add water slowing until mixed, then play!!! I never did that experiment in science class so I was AMAZED!! It's a liquid, NO, it's a solid!!! BAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! It's the little things, people. :D So yeah, we had a blast!! I made him a cake and surprised him with it after dinner. He jumped up and down and squealed and laughed. I love seeing him so happy with simple things. He ate 2 pieces of my cake and declared that I was "the BEST pancake AND birthday cake maker. EVER!!" :D Today the hubs and I are taking him to see RANGO. He's so excited to see it, it's all he's been talking about for a month. He loves it when we take him to the movies. We've only been a few times, but he just loves it. It's nice that he can now sit through a whole movie. :) His birthday party is on Sunday. This is the first year we're doing it somewhere besides the house. I didn't want to have it here in case all 12 of the kids in his class show up. o_O Nooooo thank you!!! HAH! And plus, this places takes care of everything, I just bring the snacks and cake. Perfect. So my very grown up 5 year old boy will be very excited. :)

That's Lex all dressed up as Willy Wonka. HAH! I love him. :)

How We Single Handedly Almost Ruined Christmas AND Created A Real Life Grinch

For weeks my son has been talking about Christmas, Santa and the party at my Sister's house. We took him to see Santa at the mall and he got to tell Santa everything he wanted on his list........the conversation took almost 10 minutes. Then at his school's Christmas party Santa showed up and Lex was again able to tell him what he wanted. So imagine how excited he was when it was Christmas Eve and we were on our way to my Sister's house for her annual Christmas Eve party. We ate, we played, we had fun and ate some more. Lex was in high spirits and just could not wait to open his presents. Finally my Sister told him to go find his gifts under the tree and get ready to open them. He was ecstatic!!! He found 3 and looked a bit bewildered. I heard him say "Where are the rest?", but thought nothing of it. Then he began opening his gifts. The presents he got were not what he wanted, what he had on his list. They we things my Sister had bought for him, little things. A coloring book, a Monchhichi and some SpongeBob bath bubbles. That's when it happened......Lex had a complete meltdown. All he kept saying was....'None of this stuff was on my list. Where's my science kit?" O_O Of course he's asking for the one thing we didn't get him. We tried explaining to him that Santa would be at our house soon, after he was asleep and when he woke up there would be presents. He said "All I really want is a science kit! This is a terrible Christmas!!" and he cried. What on Earth were we supposed to do?!?!?! Not only wasn't he understanding what we were saying, that it wasn't even Christmas yet, but we didn't get him a science kit!!!! Kevin and I decided to leave right then and there to make it to the book store to get that damn science kit he wanted so badly and to get him away from his cousins who were all opening a ton of gifts. He seemed to be doing a little better once we left, Kevin was able to get that damn science kit and we got home early enough so Kevin could get the wrapping done. While Kevin was in the basement I asked Lex if he wanted to put the reindeer food out with me. "Sure" was his response and he didn't look happy at all. I gave him the plate and told him to scatter it on the ground.....he just tossed it on the ground and walked back inside looking like someone had just kicked his kitten. While I was getting things ready for bedtime I noticed he had taken my decorated wine box and was filling it with small toys. After it was filled he came to me and asked if he could have a bow. I gave him one and watched as he put the bow on, placed the box under the tree and then said "There. Now I have a presents under the tree." and he started crying again, then he looked out the widow and said "This is just the terrible Christmas ever. Santa didn't bring anything on my list". I have never seen something as pathetic and as cute as that in my entire life. He thought Santa had forgotten him, or that he brought him the wrong toys. It was just awful. Kevin and I decided to give all the kids something small before bed in hopes that it would cheer him up a little. We explained that on Christmas Eve the children get to open a gift from their Moms and Dads. So we gave Lola her Pillow Pet (which was obviously the best present ever!), Raven her pjs and Lex his little delorean with a mini Marty McFly in it. He loved it! He went to bed with a smile on his face and saying he loved us.

I was not ok though. I thought for sure that we had somehow traumatized our son, turned him into a real life Grinch. He would never forget "The most terrible Christmas ever". We didn't do a good enough job of explaining the whole Santa thing. All night I kept asking my husband..."Do you think he's going to be happy?!", he thought I was worrying for nothing. And he was right. Christmas morning was great! He was so surprised with all his gifts under the tree, he kept saying "Santa DID come!!! He left lots of presents!! I hope he brought my list!!!" :) Now, I know there will be some people who read this and think to themselves that our kid is spoiled, Christmas isn't about presents, we shouldn't lie to him about Santa.....shut up. He is only 4 and just doesn't get it yet. Next year will be different. How do I know? I've done this before, Raven was the same way. She didn't really "get it" until she was 5, then it was all good. We teach our kids that Christmas is about family, love, being together and yes, Santa. Santa comes to your house and leaves you presents on Christmas Eve. It's magical, it's wonderful and I think it is very important to keep the magic in their lives as long as we can. They grow up so fast and I want them to remember their childhood as fun and, well, magical. :) I love the word MAGICAL!!!!

So that was our almost "Terrible Christmas Ever", but we made it through and our kids were thankful and very, very happy about the things they got. And so was Mommy.....that's a post for tomorrow. So many gorgeous pictures to show off from all my new camera toys!! :D

This Boy......

Is fun.....

Energetic......

He makes me laugh....

And he has the best personality......

And I just love him so.......

Preparing Myself For Preparing School Lunches.....

This may sound silly, but I am in a bit of a panic about packing Lex's school lunches. First off, he hates just about anything. Secondly, he hates just about anything. So what do I do? Well, for starters I drive myself  nutty about the whole thing, then I sit down and search the internet for ideas. Thank GAWD for the internet!! And Twitter. Thank you, Twitter. I follow a lot of wonderful Mommies and websites that help me with the things I need. Today Parents Connect posted on a link on their Twitter page to AlphaMom's site where she wrote about Bento Box Basics for Back-to-School. I let out a huge sigh of relief! HUGE!! It gave me some wonderful ideas. My brain is on overload with wonderful, healthy school lunch ideas. Then I went in search of a Bento Box. I found this one....
















And this one at Pottery Barn.....

Both are really cute, right? We bought him a SpongeBob lunch box already, so I'll have to find one that fits in that. I'm so excited!!! I haven't made a school lunch in years! This is gonna be fun. :)

Preparing For School

Summer is coming to an end and we are about to go into full "GET READY FOR SCHOOL" mode. We've been doing this for 10 years now. ((sigh)) I always dread it, the getting back into a routine. Raven is much easier than she used to be. She actually said "Mom, please don't get up. I'm not a baby anymore" -_- Whatever, Teenager. Whaaaaatever!! I do anyways. ;) But now I will have two children in school! TWO! Lex will be going to pre-school on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays 9-1. :D He has got to get into a routine. We have been always been very laid back about our routine. Not anymore. So prepare him for his school days I've come up with this schedule.....

• Bedtime: 8:00 p.m. Sharp!
• 
  
• Wake up: 7:00 a.m.
• 
  
• Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, if time allows I'll let him watch one cartoon of choice
• 
  
• Wake Lola: 8:00 a.m.
• 
  
• Get her dressed, feed her, brush her teeth 
• 
  
• Out the door: 8:45 a.m.

It take 7 minutes to get to his school. Yes, I timed it. So that leaves plenty of time to get in the car, drive to the school, get out of the car and in the door. WHEW!!!! Once Winter is here  -_- and it's snows -_- I'll push the schedule back by 20 minutes to make sure we have enough time.

Now, you make think that scheduling is the only thing we have to prepare for. It's not. I have to go out and buy a bin. A bin for all that art work my son will be bringing home. I still have Raven's, somewhere. It's insane the amount of stuff they bring home! I could never bring myself to throw any away. Not until the 1st grade at least. LOL!!

This is all so very exciting! All he talks about is school. All the time! He can't wait. I just hope that he's just as thrilled about it when he gets there and Mommy and Daddy can't stay. I'm sure he'll be fine. :) I'm actually more worried about my husband. 100 bucks says he breaks down and cries.

It Is My JOB To Do These Things!!!

I think it's an unwritten rule that we parents have to take embarrassing pictures of our children so we can pull them out when they come home with girlfriends or boyfriends. We just do!! That's one of our many, many jobs. :) My son is the perfect example. He just loves dressing up and posing for Mommy. Who am I to refuse him?!?!? :)

This is his "mad face". :) 

This is his "good face"

This is his "excited face"

And of course, his "happy face"

I'm sure he'll forgive me when he's older. I am, after all, just doing my job. ;)

The Strange Things My Son Says

He is notorious for saying the weirdest things and requesting strange items, but this takes the cake!

LEX: "Mom. Call Dad and tell him to bring me home some Russian dolls and a gay piano"

ME: "What? a what piano?"

LEX: "A gay piano. A GAY piano"

ME: What's a gay piano?"

LEX: "The kind of piano you play"

ME: "Ok, Lex, fine"

I have no idea what he was talking about, I know he didn't mean "gay" but where on earth did he hear that?! I wonder what he thought he was saying? Please, feel free to chime in here!!

My Son.......

Would be gorgeous if he were a girl........

But he isn't, despite what people think......

He is ALL boy! He loves bugs, dirt, jumping off random things and well, just being a boy.....

So don't let the hair fool you. He is all B.O.Y.!

But a very gorgeous boy!!

:)

The Great Pre-School Hunt.....Or, Why I Might Be Homeschooling

I'm not gonna lie, I kinda don't want to spend $200 a month on pre-school for my son. Not just because I'm cheap, but because I feel I can do just as good of a job teaching him as they can. But on the other hand, I feel that there are things they can teach him that he'll learn better from them because they aren't me. Does that make sense? Kids act differently with people who aren't their parents. It's a fact! :) And since I plan on sending him to Kindergarten I feel that getting him used to a setting that isn't his home and being away from us is probably a good thing. BUT! We have a problem. A few weeks ago we took him to see one of the 4 pre-schools in our town. Yes, we live in a small town. :) It was in the basement of a church. Not huge, but just big enough. 4 teachers, 24 students. Class pets, gold fish. A kitchen. Lots of activities and everyone was very nice. Lex loved it. Kevin loved it. I loved it. Everyone loved it! We left there with the paperwork and every intention of going back there this week and getting everything set. Then it happened. Mommy Intuition kicked in. I had a horrible dream that there was a fire in the pre-school, there was only one exit and Lex was trapped, dying. I woke up almost in a panic and thought to myself...."My GAWD! There is only one exit!!!!!" And there is only one exit. Mommy Intuition must have noticed it when my eyes didn't. So that one is out! There is no way I'm sending my son, my baby, to a place that has only one exit and a kitchen. Sorry peeps. You're out! The next one I called was already full. Probably a good thing since that school takes on almost all kids with learning disabilities. There's nothing wrong with Lex, let that place be for someone who really needs it. The third place I called wanted $400 a month and they have this policy where the child must get out of the car themselves, walk to the door without the parent, "to build self esteem." Yeah, whatever. Again.....no way I'm sending my son, my baby, to a place that won't let me walk him to the door, or let alone go in. Forget that! Bye bye! Our last option is actually in a very nice church located right smack in the center of town. It's gorgeous!! We're going to look at it tomorrow around Noon. BUT! Isn't there always a "but"? They only have 1 opening and it's Monday, Wednesday & Friday from 9-1. That seems a little long to me. I don't want to be away from him that long. Not at first. ((sigh))

Did you see that? Do you see what I'm doing? I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Can you blame me? He's my son, my baby. Letting go is harder on us than it is on them. I'm looking forward to him making new friends at school, doing activities, going on field trips and just being a kid. I really am. Does he really need to go now? Does he really need pre-school if I'm at home and not working? I'm torn. I've already been looking for homeschooling resources here in MA, and I've found quite a few. I've joined the Yahoo! group for my area, talked with other homeschooling Mommies, so I think I have my bases covered, if it comes down to that. I've been looking at books as well and found this one.....
















Right up my alley!!! LOL!!! Free = good. I sound cheap, don't I? Oh well. :D

You know, I never thought I would even consider homeschooling. I thought that kinda stuff was for crunchy Mommies, Mommies who were homeschooled themselves, Mommies who know what they're doing!!! I have no idea what I'm doing. I flunked Math every year of my school life!! I'm not homeschooling/teacher material! Geesh! But for my kids, I'd do anything. :) I'll let you know how things go tomorrow and if I'll be needing lots and lots of help come September. o_O