Spring Cleaning......Also Known As Torture

I hate cleaning. It's just so tedious, I have no time for it. Problem is, I'm the only one who really knows how to clean. Todd cleans, he does the litter boxes, dishes, folds the laundry and puts it away, and he straightens up, but he does not know how to clean. I like to spring clean. I open windows, move furniture, get behind the book shelves, I vacuum every inch of my house. Nothing is safe! You may be asking yourself "If this woman hates cleaning so damn much, why does she clean so damn much?" BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!! I was an Army Brat growing up, with a very strict/scary mother. Sunday mornings in our house was torture. Up at 7am, no breakfast till your chores were done. GRAB A TOOTHBRUSH!! And that is how I became this. I can't help myself!!

So it has begun. Spring cleaning in my house always starts with clearing out old toys, clothes and things that are just lingering around with no purpose. And there is a lot of that lingering around here. I blame my hoarding son. I ask that if you have it in you, you should definitely pray for poor Todd. He thinks this weekend is date weekend, it is not. It is SPRING CLEANING WEEKEND!!! Grab a toothbrush, Todd!

Mom~

Where The Hell Is My Maid?!

I swear to God I am going to fire her when I see her. The house is a mess, the laundry needs to be folded and put away. The floors haven't been done all week. The dishes are piling up and the animals need to be fed. What the Hell do I pay her for? Not to show up? Not to clean? To sit around and do nothing. Apparently so! The nerve!

 I keep having to remind myself that I, in fact, do not have a maid. It's just me. When I remember this I get really sad. The fantasy that I have someone to do all this for me is such an inviting one. I never want to leave that dream. Just think about it.......you leave for work and 8 hours later you come home to a clean house! How fantastic would that be?? ((sigh)) But I don't, and I probably never will. So, I have to make my daily list of things that need to be done, have breakfast and then get to it. Oh the grind!!!!!!!

Me~

Someone Kidnapped My Maid!!!

My house is a freakin' mess!!!! I'm not talking about your run of the mill "I have 3 kids" mess, I'm talkin' I may need Kim and Aggie to come in and straighten my ass out mess. Look, I'm in a rut. I work a lot, I'm worried about money and spiders trying to kill me. When I do have a free minute to actually get something done, well, I kind of just want to sit quietly and pretend that there is no mess. Or I want to just hang with my kids. I don't get to do that very often anymore, so I grab the chances when I can. Wanna know how out of control it's gotten? While putting Lex and Lo down for bedtime (we all lay on the couch together till they fall asleep then I put them in their beds. Hey! It works!!!!) I fell asleep. Woke up an hour later to the sound of someone in my kitchen, sounded like cleaning, but the only other person in the house was my teenager and we ALLLL know that there is NO way she'd be cleaning. But she was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had emptied the dishwasher, filled it and actually started the dame thing, she had cleaned the counters, the stove, took out the trash and was sweeping the floor!!! I didn't even know what to say, so I just stood there staring at her, then I asked "What are you doing?!", to which she replied "Oh this? This is called cleaning! Isn't that the smartty pants reply you always give me?" Little shit, that's MY line. By the way, I may patent that, so don't steal it. She said that she knew I needed help when the place started looking like an episode of Hoarders. It wasn't that bad!! But the fact that it was bad enough for my teenager, who never cleans a damn thing, to step in and help, made me realize that I am, indeed, not Super Mom like I thought I was. Damn. So here I am, stuck with a mess and I don't know what to do with it. I have started taking baby steps in getting it all sorted out. Yesterday I cleaned the diningroom, including clearing out Lex's hoarding mess. The I swept and washed the floors. I was very impressed with myself. Today I put together the bookshelf I bought the kids, picked the books up off the floor, put them on the bookshelf and added a few nice touches like photos of the kids and a few gargoyles. Because nothing says a kid friendly area like a bunch of gargoyles sitting there staring at them. So there! I've at least started. I will be posting a picture of Lex's room tomorrow. It's, it's just bad. They went in there and destroyed that thing. I blame Lola. And the maid for not showing up when I needed her most. ;)

Being Productive......Or At Least Trying To Be!

Since "D Day" (Divorce Day) started I have barely had time to really clean or organize my house. Things have fallen behind. For example......the fish tank. Those poor fish were swimming in filth. I felt bad, but I literally had no time to clean the tank. It just had to wait. I finally decided on Saturday that I would take the lazy way out and buy a new tank. The old one made too much noise and was leaking, so I got a 10 gallon tank at Walmart  for $30! Got home, cleaned the new one and all the new rocks, then filled it with water, treated it and started the filter. I had planned on letting it run for at least 2 days before adding the fish, but when I woke up on Sunday the old fish tank had just died! Talk about good timing!! So the fish were introduced to their new home. :) Lex was ecstatic and I was glad I had finally gotten ONE thing on my list accomplished. YAY ME!! I then went into the kitchen to hear our cursed microwave beeping away and the number 2 flashing over and over again, so I unplugged that damn thing, put a free sign on it and put it on the curb. You have no idea how happy that made me. My mother gave me that microwave a few years ago and it's been cursed from the get go. I wanted to take a hammer to it just to make myself feel better, but then I knew no one would take it. Someone took it less than an hour after I put it on the curb. People will take anything. Another thing on my list completed.......I passed the curse along. YAY ME!! I hope they enjoy the endless beeping. HAH!

Next on my list is the giant pile of clean laundry sitting in front of my closet. What's wrong with me? I could be doing that right now, but then I wouldn't be blogging and then I would feel like I was letting someone out there down and I just can't do that. ;) So there it sits, mocking me and my lazy ass. Then there's the bathrooms.....I am ashamed to say that I haven't scrubbed the floors in weeks. I've done the 'ol "lick and a promise" (quick floor cleaning with a Clorox wipe and a promise to do better the next day. My Grandmother taught me that. Thanks, Nanny!) but I haven't actually washed them. That's pretty gross considering my son likes to spray when he pees. I've actually had to say "You shake AFTER you're done peeing, not WHILE you're peeing!" So I'm pretty sure it's gross down there. I think the best course of action is to play the lottery, win and hire someone to do it for me, because  I seriously do not see any free time in the near future to be able to get it all done. Sorry, house! You're on your own for a while. I'm going to lay down now and cry. Or not. ;)

Day #6 Of Early Intervention

I think Lola is trying to sabotage her Early Intervention sessions. She wanted nothing to do with what we had in mind. She screamed and screamed until I finally sat her down with the object of her desire (Raven's helmet -_-) and left her alone. She actually turned her back on us and played with it. ((sigh)) Paula said that Lola is a 2 year old attitude stuck in a 1 year olds body. LOL!! Paula was able to see just how smart Miss. Lola is though. I gave Lo Lex's bee bucket with is full of instruments and she went for her favorite one.....the triangle. After she found the triangle she rummaged through till she found the wand.....then she sat there and played it. Nothing fancy, just a few tinks then she put it down and clapped for herself. Too cute. Paula said...."Nina, she is very intelligent. You don't see 13 month olds doing things like that.". Yeah....I know. :D We're very proud of her. Anyway. Paula showed me a few things to work on with her. We have work to do today!!!!! :)

Other than that all is well. She's combat crawling all over the place. I can't sweep and mop enough. I literally sweep and mop everyday. It's awful. LOL!! Just the other day I had cleaned the floors perfectly, you could have eaten off of them, then Lo woke up and off she went to play. About 10 minutes later I notice she was playing with something on the floor. I went over and said....."What do got there, Sweetpea?" It was a dead fly. -GAG- She was just very lightly moving it around with her index finger. Thank GAWD she doesn't put anything in her mouth!!!! AHHHHHH!!!! She really doesn't. Ok, well, not small objects like dead flies. -GAG- She'll put a book, a toy or things like that in her mouth, but not small things. Again.....THANK GAWD!! So yeah....not 2 hours after cleaning the floors were they dirty again. Well....maybe not dirty, but you know what I mean. I clean and clean and clean as much as possible, because I just don't like the idea of my baby rolling around in dust, dirt and dead flies. LOL!!!