Is It Time For School Yet???

This past week has been tough. The kids have been fighting a lot, not listening and refusing to do any Summer Reading. It's all wearing on me. I'm exhausted from their late nights, I'm exhausted from getting up early, I'm exhausted from working more, I'm exhausted from being exhausted. I know that I cannot let one week do me in, I need to focus and remember that these moments with my children will be gone, they will grow up and not be little anymore and I will miss it. But God it is so hard!!!! Especially when the very first thing every single morning out of my son's mouth is "Can I have the computer?" NO!!! You can't!! Go read a book, or play with the $100 worth of Legos that I bought so they WON'T ask for the computer or say that they're bored. Yes, it's been that bad of a week. This week is going to be worse because I'm working every single day except Thursday. Great for my paycheck, but tough on my nerves and body. Lifting 30+ pounds of dog food 30 times a day will wear anyone down. I think I need a vacation. Or at least 48 hours of sleep. I'll take either one at this point. When I have weeks like this past week, when I've been up early, cleaning, taking care of pets and kids, then go to work and work my butt off, then go home to my third shift, I'm a wreck. And I swear to God if I hear one more stay-at-home mom say how tough her life is, I will smack her in the face. Toots, you've got it MADE!!! I used to be a stay-at-home Mom, and yes, it was tough, but not nearly as tough as this is.

So yes, today I am looking forward to the first day of school, but that won't last. It's just another bad week and this too shall pass.

Me~

Christ Almighty!!!

Is the "C" word over yet?? Yes, I'm back to calling it that. I'm spent. I've been working, I've been sick, Lo's been sick, appointment after appointment, up early, to bed late, no money or time for the "C" word presents, I'm freezing and I'm cranky. That's been my month. I was all gung ho before, but now I just want it all to be over with so I can rest. So I don't have to go without the basics, like deodorant, just so I can buy presents for  my kids. You heard me right, I haven't worn deo in weeks!! I also haven't worn makeup either since I had what was probably the worst case of pink eye you've ever seen!!!! I am not even joking......my eye looked just like that. Then there's my teenager's pregnancy. That's right, the teenager is pregnant. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MEEEEE!!! The best part of that? There is no best part. -_- But don't worry, she's "almost 18 and can totally do this on her own without any help from me". Did I mention I haven't worn deodorant in weeks? So all this sweating is just terrible for me and anyone within a 5 foot radius. And I am sweating!! Todd keeps saying......"We can't raise another baby. We can't raise another baby! WE CAN'T RAISE ANOTHERRRRRR BAYYYYYYBEEEEEE!!!!". I KNOW, TODD!! Just....breath......Nina. Just breath. It can't get any worse, right? While I was sitting on the toilet crying because of all this, and the fact that I stink and look like crap, I felt a great wave of calmness come over me and I swear I heard someone say "let go". And that is what I did, and this is what happened.......

I stopped worrying about the teenager and her pregnancy, it is her pregnancy and it is something she chose, so she can worry about it. Nothing I can do. I stopped worrying about money, and guess what happened? I was offered more hours. I stopped thinking about all the Christmas presents I couldn't buy. Guess what happened then......my sister and her wife dropped off a bag full of toys for the kids. I started feeling good again. Good enough to shower, put on makeup and I even borrowed the boyfriend's deodorant. I may smell like a man, but I look pretty damn good again......for a grandmother. o.O

Me~

Who Knew Paper Towels Could Be So Inspiring?!

"You Can Bury A Lot Of Troubles Digging In The Dirt"

That is a quote from a roll of Bounty paper towels in my kitchen and boy is that true!  I've been going through a lot of troubles lately, my teenager, marriage, no time for myself, too much to do and no time to do it, money issues....crap like that. How do I deal? I head outdoors with the kids and I do some gardening while they play. Housework schmousework!! It can wait. Although it was crappy yesterday, so we were indoors and the cleaning is now DONE! Anyway! I've been using my yard and gardens as therapy. It gives me time to think, clear my head and get a new perspective on everything that's been going on. It's working, too. Then last night I was getting paper towels for dinner and written on mine was that quote. How appropriate! I loved it and went in search of who it came from. "Author Unknown". Well now I'm going to use it because it fits my life so well at the moment.

What marriage problems? Glad you asked!!! My husband has once again murdered our lawn. I say "once again" because this is the THIRD time. Anyway. He killed all the grass. Why and how? Why: he didn't like the "weeds". How: he bought fertilizer with added weed killer in it. If he had taken the time to read the instructions he would have seen the list of grass you are not supposed to use it on and then had he taken the time to find out what type of grass we had he would have known that he wasn't supposed to use it on our lawn. ((sigh)) So my time has been spent raking, pulling up dead grass, watering, putting down more grass seeds and crying. It's an emotional thing for me! I am seeing new green, so it's all good!

Teenagers. Are. Insane. That's all I have to say about my kid. She has lost her mind. In the midst of getting everything together for the end of school year concerts, dances and middle school graduation my daughter has informed me that she is depressed and has started to lose her hair again. She loses her hair when she stresses out. It has been so bad in the past that we've had to get medicine for it, so we'll be getting her more to keep it from getting too bad. And we've also started her back in therapy. She needs it. She's come to realize that her "adult life" is beginning and it's scaring her. She doesn't want to go to high school, she doesn't want to meet new people and she doesn't want to grow up. Sorry, kiddo! That's life and she has to learn to deal. Period. We'll make it through.

My Lo turned 2 last week. I wanted to do something special for her since we weren't having a party, because she doesn't like a lot of people near her -_-, so I set out to make a rainbow cake! I first saw this gorgeous cake over at MyCharmingKids.net a while ago and knew it's be perfect for Lola's cake! Lo's birthday was last Tuesday the 8th. I got myself up bright and early, showered, cleaned and got everything prepped so all I'd have to do is make the cake after breakfast while the kids played. It did not work out so smoothly. Lola woke up in a horrible mood and most of the day was spent listening to her cry about this or that. It was nerve wracking. All I wanted to do was run away! But, I didn't. I made the cake, cooked a huge dinner and we all sat down as a family, plus 1; Raven's boyfriend, and we sang "Happy Birthday" and then we ate cake. Done. That was it! That was stressful enough. Have you ever tried getting something done while listening to a 2 year old scream and cry all. day. long?!?! Not fun. Blah! Oh, and I'm changing my name from "MOMMA" to something the kids can't pronounce. It's kind of annoying listening to them yell "MOMMA!!!! MOMMMA!! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" over and over again. x_x Anyway. Here's the cake......

And here's Lola devouring the cake.......

HAHAHAHAAAA!!!! She's lucky she's so darn cute. -_-