Day #19 Of Early Intervention

And I think that we may be at the end of our journey with Early Intervention. There is only so much they can teach her/me and I think they've done a great job, but it's time to move on. We should be getting her AFO's within the week and then we'll be seeing Dr. M., her Pediatric Orthopedic, and he'll monitor her progress from now on. But how do you "break up" with EI? She has her evaluation in a few weeks, do I do it then? I hate doing it, but I think it's time. So we'll see what they say. I just hope it goes well. I mean, they may put up a fight. Who wouldn't want to see this face all. the. time?!?!

HAH!!!!

I'm Pretty Sure My WHOLE Neighborhood Thinks We're Dysfunctional

Yesterday was one of those days. It started off at 6 a.m. and went down hill from there. The night before I didn't get much sleep due to the fact that I was up till 11:30 p.m. watching LOST. Hey, it was the finale!!! And I LOVE that show, so I stayed up. Let me tell ya something....I need 8 hours of sleep. NEED!! So yeah, I was pretty much exhausted when I dragged myself out of bed. Got up, made breakfast, dropped, spilled and broke everything I touched, Lola woke up screaming, Lex wasn't listening and I was exhausted. Did I mention I was exhausted? Well I WAS!! Finally I just said..."Snap out of it, Nina! You have things to do!!!" That is exactly what I did, too. I put a smile on my face, fed the kids, cleaned the kitchen, folded clothes, put said clothing away, made beds....etc....etc! 8 a.m. rolled around and it was time to take the dogs out. At this point I'm feeling pretty confident in my abilities and thought it would be a good idea to get the kids dressed and take them out with me. I put Lola on my shoulders (O_O) and reminded Lex to not kick/chase the dogs and off we went! Of course I had to repeatedly yell "Lex stop chasing the dogs! Don't kick Lucy! Leave them alone, they're trying to potty!!!" and so on and so forth. My poor dogs. I feel so bad for them. :( They take it in stride, or is it take it and ruuuuuuuun! They are always running from Lex. At least they're getting exercise, right? Anyway. We're out there, me with Lola on my shoulders and Lex chasing the dogs, I'm picking up poo and yelling every few seconds and I just know my neighbors are like..."That woman yells too much!" Finally everyone was done "doin' their business" and I was ready to herd them all back inside when it happened.......the mail lady showed up. Oh my goodness the drama!!! Dogs barking, chasing the mail lady, Lex screaming chasing the dogs and me dropping the pooper scooper and running after them with Lola on my shoulders and me yelling "SH*T! SH*T! No PUPPIES!! LEX NO!!!" then it happened.....Lola joined in and started yelling "SH*T! SH*T! PUPPIES COME BACK!!!" O_O "NO, LOLA! NO!! Don't say that!" is all I kept yelling and she just kept on. By time I caught up to the dogs, Lex and the mail lady I was done. I was hot, sweaty, tired and ready for a nap. I chatted with the mail lady for a second, got everyone to head for the house and as I was walking in the door I happened to look up at my neighbors' yard and there they were, Mary & Phil trying very hard not to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness that they had just witnessed. Needless to say......I think they think we're either dysfunctional or hilarious. Probably both. I'll just add this to the "Embarrassing Mommy Moments" book I plan on writing.

Is It Creepy.......

That I take pictures of my neighbors' back yard?

You see, the birds love Phil and Mary's (our neighbors) yard. They have all different kinds of birds show up there daily, and well, I'm a bit jealous.

They are out there every day working on their yard. Adding flowers and bushes and filling their feeders and so on and so forth, while I'm busy watching them and taking pictures of the birds. LOL!!

BUT! I have my OWN little creatures who love to visit my yard.......

Isn't that the cutest thing ever?! I love him (could be a her, but I'm saying HIM!). It is at my feeder everyday collecting the seeds that drop. I'm going to start buying squirrel food and putting it in a bowl out there for him. 

I have just one goal for this Summer......and that is to get a good picture of of at least one hummingbird. That's all I want, just one picture. :) And so it begins....

I Need A Maid

STAT! This house cleaing thing is getting old. I miss doing laundry though. I've always loved doing laundry. Before we moved into our house we lived in an apartment that was 3 bedrooms, huge kitchen with washer/dryer hookups right in there! So I was able to wash, dry, fold and put away all while I cooked/cleaned/cared for children and small animals. I loved it! My house always smelled good, it was warm and inviting and doing laundry was a stress reliever. Cleaning wasn't as much fun. When we started looking for a house I kinda stopped worrying about how clean the apartment was. Seriously, I did. I still did the everyday pickup, dust, sweep, mopping business, but scrubbing was off the list!!! Once we had a move date I was all like.."I'm outta here!! See ya later!" and focused my Domestic Goddessness on the new, beautiful house. I cleaned and I loved it! I loved having the laundry room in the basement away from the rest of the house. Loved it! I would go down there, do some laundry, come back up, put said clean laundry away and continue on with my daily cleaning. Our house is big. 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, huge livingroom, diningroomm kitchen, mudroom and then there's the deck and farmer's porch. Lots of cleaning. Never a dull moment for The Domestic Goddess.  :D So went my days and I was happy. Then it happened. I went to the basement to switch out the loads and I was attacked by the biggest, ugliest, meanest spider ever. Ok, well, maybe not all that, but it was still a spider that dropped onto my face and I could not get it off of me!! Flashbacks of my childhood came flooding in.....me waiting to run through my Mother's freshly washed kitchen floor only to be greeted with a line of fake, plastic spiders. Yes, my Mother lined up HUGE fake plastic spiders to stop me in my tracks, and it worked. A little too good, because I am terrified of spiders now. You can imgine how traumatized I was that day in the basement. Horrible! Needless to say, my husband now does the laundry. I flat out refuse to go down there anymore. It's scary.

Now, I do all the cleaning myself and he does the laundry. Let me just point out that there is a lot of cleaning to do. Almost every other day I'm doing some kind of major cleaning. It may be the windows, the floors, polishing the wood, making beds, cleaning bathrooms and so on and so on. You know what I'm talking about! It's work! I told my husband that for Mother's Day next year (still waiting on my present for this year!) I want a cleaning crew to come in, clean my house from top to bottom while I'm at the spa. That sounds so nice, coming home to a clean house. I don't know what that's like. Usually when I work I come home to a sink full of dishes, the dogs' bowls are empty, the bathroom is a mess and there's a basket of laundry sitting in the livingroom.  The laundry I don't mind so much, everything else is a pain. Sick of it. I need a maid. Or a family that picks up after themselves. ((sigh)) Wouldn't that be nice? I'm just exhausted. Exhausted and kind of fed up with all the house work I do. I feel like a maid and that is not what I am. I'm a Mother, Me and a wife (most days) :D I know, I know......with that comes the whole package deal, right? Sure, sure, fine. But would it be asking too much to have people pick up after themselves? No one puts the hairdryer away, they leave it on the trash can. -_- No one rinses the shower after they're done, the leave that grossness for me to clean up. And I'm not talking about the 2 little ones either! The bottom line is this....I used to love cleaning and doing laundry, now it feels like a chore. I don't feel appreciated and it's wearing on me. Yes, I'm whining, but whatever. I'm allowed. Something has got to give. And soon or Mommy is going to lose it. Either that of I'm hiring a maid.

4

4 is wonderful......

4 is sweet.......

4 is HAPPY..........

4 is WILD..........

4 is exhausting.......

And 2....well, 2 is just 2......

What Is Happening To Our Teenage Girls?!?!?!

The other day I went to the mall to pick up a few things. While I was there I saw a lot of things that really surprised me and all of it had to do with teenage girls. First thing I saw was a young girl, no more than 16, walking down the mall clutching on to some teenage boy wearing a school jersey (jock) and she was wearing a pair of shorts that were so small they rode up her butt. She was a hefty girl, big all over, so I'm sure anything would have been tight on her, but I think she meant for those shorts to look like that. I think she wanted them to ride up her rear end to show off her "goods". And show off her goods, she did! I literally sat there with my mouth wide open staring at her. Now, she was young, so her skin was flawless, no bumps or dimples, so I'm sure she thought it was ok to dress like that. All I kept thinking was "Where is her Mother?!?!?!?!" I couldn't believe her Mother would let her walk out of the house like that but then again, maybe she doesn't even know. At any rate, all I wanted to do was pull her aside and shake her! Why do young girls feel the need to expose themselves in this way? I'll never understand.

About 20 minutes later I find myself staring at the rear end of another teenage girls, this one was no more than 14, and her shorts read "JUICY". WTF?!?!?! JUICY?!?!?! What's juicy? The shorts? The bottle of whatever she's drinking? Oh, right.....her arse is supposed to be juicy. So, she wants people to look at her bottom and think..."Oh wow. Look at that juicy arse!" I know, I know....she doesn't really get it yet, she thinks those shorts are cute/funny. Well they are not. I completely disagree with young girls advertising anything on their bottoms. It's just wrong. There are enough perverts out there, we don't need to encourage them.

I'm lucky to have a daughter who hates being naked. She wears t-shirts under her t-shirts. In the Summer time she wears shorts, but she hates it when they're too short, so she wears her bathing suit bottoms under them. Don't ask me why she feels more comfortable that way, she just does. She's a modest girl and I'm happy about that. I would never, ever let her buy clothes that I felt was exposing too much of herself or had something inappropriate written on it. I try to teach her self respect in hopes that she takes that with her where ever she goes.

The Great Pre-School Hunt.....Or, Why I Might Be Homeschooling

I'm not gonna lie, I kinda don't want to spend $200 a month on pre-school for my son. Not just because I'm cheap, but because I feel I can do just as good of a job teaching him as they can. But on the other hand, I feel that there are things they can teach him that he'll learn better from them because they aren't me. Does that make sense? Kids act differently with people who aren't their parents. It's a fact! :) And since I plan on sending him to Kindergarten I feel that getting him used to a setting that isn't his home and being away from us is probably a good thing. BUT! We have a problem. A few weeks ago we took him to see one of the 4 pre-schools in our town. Yes, we live in a small town. :) It was in the basement of a church. Not huge, but just big enough. 4 teachers, 24 students. Class pets, gold fish. A kitchen. Lots of activities and everyone was very nice. Lex loved it. Kevin loved it. I loved it. Everyone loved it! We left there with the paperwork and every intention of going back there this week and getting everything set. Then it happened. Mommy Intuition kicked in. I had a horrible dream that there was a fire in the pre-school, there was only one exit and Lex was trapped, dying. I woke up almost in a panic and thought to myself...."My GAWD! There is only one exit!!!!!" And there is only one exit. Mommy Intuition must have noticed it when my eyes didn't. So that one is out! There is no way I'm sending my son, my baby, to a place that has only one exit and a kitchen. Sorry peeps. You're out! The next one I called was already full. Probably a good thing since that school takes on almost all kids with learning disabilities. There's nothing wrong with Lex, let that place be for someone who really needs it. The third place I called wanted $400 a month and they have this policy where the child must get out of the car themselves, walk to the door without the parent, "to build self esteem." Yeah, whatever. Again.....no way I'm sending my son, my baby, to a place that won't let me walk him to the door, or let alone go in. Forget that! Bye bye! Our last option is actually in a very nice church located right smack in the center of town. It's gorgeous!! We're going to look at it tomorrow around Noon. BUT! Isn't there always a "but"? They only have 1 opening and it's Monday, Wednesday & Friday from 9-1. That seems a little long to me. I don't want to be away from him that long. Not at first. ((sigh))

Did you see that? Do you see what I'm doing? I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Can you blame me? He's my son, my baby. Letting go is harder on us than it is on them. I'm looking forward to him making new friends at school, doing activities, going on field trips and just being a kid. I really am. Does he really need to go now? Does he really need pre-school if I'm at home and not working? I'm torn. I've already been looking for homeschooling resources here in MA, and I've found quite a few. I've joined the Yahoo! group for my area, talked with other homeschooling Mommies, so I think I have my bases covered, if it comes down to that. I've been looking at books as well and found this one.....
















Right up my alley!!! LOL!!! Free = good. I sound cheap, don't I? Oh well. :D

You know, I never thought I would even consider homeschooling. I thought that kinda stuff was for crunchy Mommies, Mommies who were homeschooled themselves, Mommies who know what they're doing!!! I have no idea what I'm doing. I flunked Math every year of my school life!! I'm not homeschooling/teacher material! Geesh! But for my kids, I'd do anything. :) I'll let you know how things go tomorrow and if I'll be needing lots and lots of help come September. o_O

Day #18 Of Early Intervention, Laser Appointment And Ortho Appointment

Oh, Lola!! She fills our calendar up with more appointments than anyone else in the house. :) First.....Early Intervention. What a waste that was!! That was the day she got sick, but I had no idea she was sick. So the whole hour was spent watching her lay on the floor throwing fits. Poor Patty. o_O Poor Lola!!! She was sick and I didn't even know it till after she got up from her nap later that afternoon. We're hoping to have a better session this week. :D

She had her laser appointment in Boston last week. The first one in many months. Last time we went it was snowing!! It was beautiful out so of course Kevin just had to go, too. Not that I don't like being around him and Lex, but these appointments are in Boston and it gives me a chance to be alone with Lola, and I look forward to that. Anyway. It went well. Her doctor says that her Hemangioma is looking better and better!! YAY! We're going to see if our insurance company will give up 6 more visits.  They're tough though, so we'll see. :D

And last but not least.......the orthopedic appointment. Besides waiting for over an hour with a very cranky toddler, it went well!! -_- Dr. M came in and immediately started talking about braces. ((sigh)) I knew he was going to say that. I actually don't mind, whatever works is my motto!! And if she needs braces, then she needs braces. Period. And no, they won't look like Forest Gump's leg braces!!! LOL!! Although that is the first thing Kevin said when I told him. -_- I'm hoping we can get her some with butterflies or flowers on them. :D My niece had to wear braces and hers were cute! She has an appointment next week to get fitted for them. Lots of pictures!! Now, Dr. M  told me something that really made me nervous. He said...."You're lucky she can use her legs at all". Apparently he sees this a lot in children who have had strange fevers with no diagnoses as to what caused it. He thinks she had Meningitis and that's what caused her to stop everything she had learned as far as gross motor skills go. He asked if she could move her legs at all after the fever and you know what, I don't think she could. As a matter of fact, I don't think I saw her move for a very long time after that. :( My poor baby!!!! Luckily though, I pushed to get her into Early Intervention when I did, or else she may have been worse off. When Dr. M was examining her he could move her feet in every direction and she didn't even bat an eye! No muscle whatsoever in her time little feet. And he pointed out that since she's not using them, they're not growing like they should be. ((sigh)) The sooner we get those braces on, the sooner she starts building some muscle tone and sooner they straighten out. So here we go. Braces it is! :D

The Answer To Yesterday's Post

Yesterday I asked what was wrong with those pictures I posted in the previous post, and well, here are the answers.

The first pictures is of Lola and my husband. Despite Mooooog's guess that Kevin's pants are what's wrong with that picture (they are pretty funny. They're Scooby Doo pj pants. heheheheeeeee) that isn't the real problem. The real problems are A) Lola is trying to go cross eyed. B) She's wearing nothing but a diaper. No pj's despite the fact that it was bedtime. C) She's not in bed and it was way past her bedtime. We love her lots and allow her to get away with it every now and then. :D

The second picture, what's wrong with it? THAT'S NOT A BIRD AT THE BIRD FEEDER!! We have a lot of squirrels and they usually sit on the ground at the bird feeder and eat what falls out, but this guy (or girl) climbs up there every day and takes some of the food. Luckily, I love animals and allow this to go on, or we'd be havin' squirrel for dinner. I'm from the boonies of Kentucky, I can cook up some rodents if need be. ;)

The third picture is a picture I took yesterday, it's the end of April and no where near Christmas. Lex is on a wrapping kick and has been wrapping everything he can get his hands on. I blame Kevin for letting him do whatever it is he wants to do. Creativity is nice and all, and we really weren't going to use that paper, but still. He's just so cute, so I let him do it. It would be nice if he didn't put them on the stairs, where I almost killed myself!!! But he's cute, so i let it slide. o_O

The fourth picture is a picture of my Lola. You might be asking yourself "What's wrong with this picture? I don't see anything wrong with it!" And you're right!!!!! There's nothing wrong with the cuteness you see. Well, except the fact that Lola doesn't wear glasses, Lex does, but there she is, wearing glasses. :) And she looks mighty cute, too, if I may say so myself. :D

The fifth pictures is by far the craziest. Our son has the best laugh ever, and it's an insane kinda laughter. Seriously, people stop and laugh with him (or at him, I dunno) and say "He has the best laugh!" And they're right, he does. But his laughter isn't what's wrong with this picture. His darling cross eyed look is what's wrong. He goes cross eyed when he doesn't wear his glasses, which is the second thing that's wrong with that picture. Where were his glasses?! Who knows. Someone should be paying attention, but Kevin was the one making him laugh and I was, well, taking the pictures!! :)

Picture #6 always makes me smile. I don't know if it's Lola's expression, or the fact that she's naked or the fact that she's stuffed into her doll's stroller, but I love this picture. :) And yes, everything I just wrote is what's wrong with this picture. Well, except her expression, which is pretty darn cute. Lo will be 2 in June and is starting to do 2 year old things. Sitting in her doll stroller and grunting at me to push her around is just one of them. :)

I love taking pictures of the silly things my kids do and they do a lot of silly things. A lot. I just wish my teenager would let me take her picture. But she's too cool to pose for her old Mom. -_- I'll get her though, when she least expects it. HAHAHA!

Wordless Wednesday..........What's Wrong With These Pictures?

Back To Business!!

I'm back! Everyone in my home survived that awful stomach flu. Blah! Everyone is happy and healthy again. Well, everyone except Lola. She has decided to turn 2 early. -_- 2 with a dash of 3. For example, today I was scrubbing my kitchen and she came to the gate whining. I asked her what she wanted and she went on to grunt and scream, but gave my no real answer, so I told her in a very firm voice to go sit down or go play, Mommy was busy. If she didn't sit down in front of the gate and start kicking it as hard as she could and going "AHH! AHH!!!" O_O Then she went off and played. Obviously I did something wrong, but I don't know what. She's coming into her own little person and showing us just who's boss......and it's not us. :D

Besides the sickness, Lola's tantrums and my lack of sleep and time, things have been well. We spent all of last week in the house or in the yard when the wether permitted. Just trying to keep the kids isolated from everyone else but busy and happy at the same time.  Kevin and I did end up going to the movies on Friday night to see Kick Ass. Awesome. Movie. Just AWESOME!! I loved it. Of course, we went straight home afterwards because we had to, because you know, someone might wake up pukig on us. Did I mention I was home with the kids by myself all week and I was sick? I had to call my Mom in on Friday so she could take care of Lex while I cared for Lola. My biggest fear was giving it back to Lex. So my Mom was there till Saturday morning at which time I promptly  took her back home because, well, she really isn't much of a help at all. I end up cleaning up after her and the kids. All set. Everyone was better by Sunday so we went out to eat. The next morning Raven woke me up saying she was sick. Back to bed she went! She couldn't have got it while she was on Spring vacation, could she?! -_- Geesh!

Needless to say with all that has been going on I've been slacking in the Operation Get Sexy department. I drank wine last week, a lot. Hey, don't judge!! I was stressed!!!!! :D But this week it's back to business!! Today I made my own lunch/dinner to bring to work with me. No pictures, sorry. I'll take some of it later in the week when I have it again for dinner. It's sooooo yummy! What am I having?! I'm having a Greek salad with grilled chicken.  Mmmmm!!! I can't get enough of green peppers lately. I love them! Yes, I eat them raw. Raw veggies are so good for you. If you're looking to eat healthier or to lose weight there are a few things to remember......portion sizes, watch your fat and sugar intake, no sodas, eat organic if you can, lots of fruits and veggies and remember to drink water. Water is good!!! There are so many so called "perfect diets" out there, but if you take a look at your daily routine and tweak it a bit, add some exercise to it and watch what you eat, you'll feel and look better in no time! NOW! This is what I put in my Greek salad.......

A few Romaine leaves cut into little pieces so I can shove more in my mouth
2 tomatoes—cut into wedges (I like the sweet Grape or Cherry Tomatoes)

¼ red onion—sliced into rings

½ cucumber—sliced into thick half-moons

1 green pepper (capsicum)—julienned

A handful of feta cheese (I like the crumbled kind)

16 kalamata olives cut into pieces

1 plain thin chicken breast filet grilled then cut into strips (I just use a drop of olive oil in the pan)

I don't use dressing, just a little bit of salt and pepper. Not much though. I could eat that all day long. And that is exactly what I'm about to do. I'll be back with something more creative/funny/photo'ish soon. Promise!!

Chaotic

Things here have been chaotic. Lex was sick, then Lola was sick, then Kevin and I were sick and then Lola was really sick again. I've been caring for sick kids for over a week now and I can say that the stomach flu and I want to kill each other. My stomach hurts. Bad. That is part of being a Mommy.......you suck it up and move on. And that is exactly what I've been doing. It's tough, not sleeping, then having to get up with my 4 year old, having to clean, all the while pretending I'm not sick, then waiting on the baby to wake up so I can care for her. I went in to get her as soon as she started stirring and she had puked all over herself while she was sleeping, of course. -_- Wonderful. More laundry, more disinfecting, more cleaning.......a Mother's work is never done. I'm not complaining. No, wait, yes I am....I'm complaining about my kids having to deal with the stomach virus. I hate seeing them sick, puking, helpless and I can do nothing for them. I hate that my baby whines constantly because her stomach is cramping up. I hate that my 4 year old is scared to eat and looks like he weighs 10 pounds less than he did a week ago. This sucks. But what are ya gonna do? Besides care for them, clean up after them, rock them, whisper that it's going to be ok despite the fact that they are puking their brains out.......that is all I can do, and I do it with a smile on my face in hopes that  it makes them feel a little better. :) I love my babies and I'd do anything for them. Yes, even scrub my house 2-3 times daily for over a week straight. Now that's love. Oh, and if you were wondering where my teenager is this whole time....well, she booked it outta here the first sign of puke. Luckily it's Spring vacation here, so she's had plenty of places to go. :D She's home now and I'm hoping she stays healthy!! For the time being I'll leave you with a reminder that things will get better.

:)

Clorox Is My Bestfriend Today

My son woke me up at 5 a.m. screaming and gagging. We barely made it to the bathroom in time. He has been dry heaving up bile all morning. Not much in there, I guess. Luckily Lola slept late this morning and I was able to snooze on the couch with Lex in between his puking spells. Boy, I tell ya what, a 20 minutes power nap really does a lot of good when you're running on empty. At one point he was so exhausted from puking I had to hold him up while he puked. My poor little man. :( He finally slept for a few hours and is now drinking sips of water and had a popsicle. No pee yet, I'm waiting for it though.

I'm in the process of airing out my bedroom and disinfecting everything. I don't mess around!! Sometimes Clorox is needed. I usually use all natural cleaners, but I'm a germaphobe and need to make sure everything is germ free. So here are my BFFs........for today....

  




























I'm also terrified Lola will catch it. Not good! I don't think she'd be able to give me notice like Lex does. He screams before he pukes. Yay.  -_- Anyway. I'm exhausted and ready for bed. Yes, already. I'll manage though because I'm the MOM and that's what Mom's do. :) I'll leave you with cuteness.....

p.s.~ While I was writing this post I caught my husband giving Lex chocolate. CHOCOLATE!!! WTF was he thinking? He can deal with the puking if it starts again. -_-

And She's Off!!!!

Well, she's off very, very slowly. :D Lola started walking yesterday. It's not a full-time gig just yet, she still prefers to crawl, but she is at least doing it. I am flat out refusing to pick her up and carry her anywhere. She is just going to have to do it herself. :) I can't wait to tell Patty. I'm actually hoping Lola will be mostly walking by then. A Mommy can dream, right? :) Picture time!!!!

Sorry, I went a little crazy with the pictures, but can you blame me? This is HUGE for her!! HUGE!!! I am so proud. :) Know what else I'm happy about? One less appointment on our calendar soon. I like Early Intervention and all, but I hate having appointments, hate it! So this will probably be the beginning of the end between Lola and Early Intervention. I can't wait to get her little diploma!! HAHAHAHAA!!! That will be awesome. Just awesome.

Day #17 Of Early Intervention

It's working!! Finally! Well, I think that Lola is finally willing to at least try and walk. Patty came over and brought the "round and round" (that's what the kids call it) with her to see if Lola would like to try it out. The object of this thing is to make her dizzy so her brain is tricked into helping her balance. Or something like that. The inner ear helps with keeping you upright, if she is moved around, spun around till she's dizzy, he turns on, which in turn makes her more stable, believe it or not. After using it just a few times she was able to stand up on her own and she stood there for about 30+ seconds, then took a few steps. Patty was very impressed and thought it would be a good idea to leave it here with us for the next 2 weeks. I've been working with her everyday since and I've noticed that she is way more confident, she's not as wobbly and she's standing on her own a lot. :D The other night while Kevin and I were watching t.v., I was on the floor with her, she stood up next to me, looked at me and said...."Momma, I walkawalkawalk ah Daddy" and took off to Kevin. She took 6 steps on her own!! I was so impressed. She just did it! Patty had the wonderful idea of "just ignore her and let her guide you" and it is working. I haven't talked about walking to her, I haven't even tried to make her stand up on her own and she is now trying it on her own. She's a willful little thing! Stubborn and willful, that's our Lo. :) I had to refrain from calling Patty and telling her because I thought if I did I'd jinx it, so I'll wait till our next session to tell her. Maybe by then I'll have more to tell! :) Anyway. I'll leave you with a few pictures of Miss. Lola and her "round and round".

Feeling Out Of Sorts Lately...

I don't know what it is, but I haven't been feeling well at all. It seems like it's getting worse and not better. I have no time for myself, I never go anywhere alone, except shopping and even then someone always wants to tag along. It feels like PMS but worse. Every time I try to sit down and do something one of the kids starts crying or needs me, or wants something or just won't leave me alone. I'm thinking it's time I go somewhere alone, and I'm not talking about the fucking grocery store either! I think I'll go to the movies.....alone. I hate feeling this way, and it only happens once or twice a year, but when it does happen I have got to get out!!! It doesn't help that I hate having to tell everyone what to do, no one just does anything around here lately out of the goodness of their heart. I also can't stand to even look at my husband. Horrible, I know, but you know what....it happens. How I deal with it is what matters. And so far I've been doing pretty good. I haven't tried to hurt anyone yet. :) It irks me that my husband still talks about having more kids, too! What is that about?!?! We are maxed out. I am maxed out! Two is plenty, get over it.

((sigh)) I have, actually, been reading a good book lately, even if I do have to sneak into the bathroom to get some reading time in. -_- It's called ANGELOLOGY, and it's great! You can read about it here......
















I didn't think I'd like it, but I do. I need more reading material though and stat! The bathroom is calling me. It's saying...."You know you wanna come sit on the porcelain throne and read. Come on!!!!!" HAH! My husband thinks I have some kind of bathroom issue......no Dear, it's called "Mommy's quiet time". :D

I'll be ok. I'll feel even better once "SHE" gets here and then leaves. Ugh. BUT! There is good news!!! I'm bloated, and I mean bloated, but I'm still in my skinny jeans!! YAY!! Wait, not those ugly ass "skinny jeans" that kids are shoving themselves into. I mean the jeans that fit me when I'm not on my period. If you're female you know what I'm talking about. :D That means Operations GET SEXY is working. Lovely!!!



p.s.~ I totally just wrote this post without one of the kids coming to look for me or bother me. They are still playing quietly in Lex's room. Wonderful! Today is going to be a good day. :)

Patience

Patience is not something I have a lot of. My husband has way more than I do. I have to force myself to be patient. Some days it's really hard, especially when I'm PMS'ing, or I'm sick or I haven't had enough sleep. That's when I'm running on the "E" in the patience tank. Those days are tough. Luckily, I have really sweet/cute kids who love to turn my frown upside down. ):) I really think that how we were raised has a huge impact on our lives. A long time ago, when I was pregnant with Raven, I said this to my Mother and she said..."You can try and blame me, but you're responsible for yourself. So what if I was a horrible Mother. Get over it." She's just a little ray of sunshine!! -_- Anyway. I have worked hard over the years to control my angry/rage/stress/depression and I am extremely proud of myself. When Raven was born I swore to myself that I would be a better Mom than my Mother ever was. From that day on it was a battle. It didn't help that I was a single Mom who had no idea what she was doing and virtually no help at all. I was a lone with this tiny baby who had reflux, but at the time we had no idea what was going on. This was 14 years ago, and I thought it was "normal", or so said everyone I asked. Even her Pedi said "she's just a fussy baby". Thank goodness we've come a long way!

Fast forward 4 years 1/2 years......I meet my husband. We fell in love and got married. That's a whole new set of issues I had to learn to deal with. Patience? Ugh. Not enough in the world. LOL!! Actually, we did fine. Fast forward 5 more years when we started TTC my #2 and our first child together. I never had pregnancy hormone induced rage when I was pregnant with Raven, but boy, oh boy did I have it when I was pregnant with Lex. Patience was a must, and I taught myself how to be patient...AGAIN! You see, I'm learning all the time!

Over the years I've had to relearn how to be patient. Everyday it's a battle. Well, not everyday. Some days are almost perfect. Like today. Today I woke up in a great mood. I'm calm, well rested and ready for the weekend!! But then there are days when both Kevin and I have to stop.....breath.....and try not to lose our cool. For example......

Yes, those are scratch marks on our car. Of course we knew Lex did it, so when Kevin asked him why and what he used he responded...."I used a rock. It says "I love you, Daddy". Now how can you be angry at that? But before Kevin talked to Lex he was furious. Can you blame him? No. What we try to remind ourselves of every day is that one day they will be grown, they won't want to be around us anymore, they'll have lives of their own and we'll be calling them everyday to just hear their voices. Scratches can be removed, broken things can be fixed or replaced, the mess doesn't matter, crumbs can be cleaned up, but if I lose my temper on my children, I can't take that back. They'll remember it just like I remember everything my Mother did to me. So I take a step back, breath and try to smile while I'm cleaning up whatever mess it is they've made. It can be really hard, and I'm only human, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job. :)

Wordless Wednesday.........Animals