August 28, 2012

How Long Do I Have To Raise The Teenager?

Seriously, how long? She can check herself into the hospital without my consent. Her doctors don't have to tell me a thing about what's going on in her medical life. She can go behind my back and get pregnancy tests and STD tests and I can't say a thing about it. Well, I could, but legally I don't have the right to anymore. BUT, I have to deal with all her drama, attitude and mood swings. I'm not gonna lie, she has gotten a lot better since she started taking her meds regularly, but still, she's a teenager. A teenager with mental health issues. A teenager that thinks she's grown, but can't even do her own laundry or cook herself a meal without almost setting the house on fire. So yeah, she's a handful, to say the least. As far as getting her help goes, we're doing our best. Not easy when our insurance only covers certain doctors in certain towns, and those doctors aren't accepting new patients. Oh, and get this......she's still considered a child, so she has to see a pediatric psychiatrist. It's frustrating, it really is. Some days I just want to scream. Other days I actually find myself thinking that she should live with her grandmother if she hates me so damn much. Not that I would ever let that happen, but when you feel so helpless and beaten down by your own child, then you tend to think negative thoughts. Yesterday, I wanted to clean the porch so we could eat out there again, and the whole time out there I cried. I just let it all out. Weeks of stress and trouble with my teenager just flooded out of me, and it felt good. I've decided to do that more often, cry it out. I tend to hold things in, stand strong and don't let anything get me down. Sometimes though, I think it's best to let it out. I sure felt better afterwards. :)


August 16, 2012

I. Am. Exhausted.

I'm changing my name to Ms. Exhausted Casey A. Between work, the house, the kids, the pets, hospital visits, more work, laundry and breathing, I have no time at all to myself. I am only able to update right now because Lo is sick and I'm sitting here watching her sleep peacefully and hoping she wakes up feeling better. School hasn't even started yet and we're already battling nasty bugs. Wonderful. It seems that I just can't catch a break lately. One thing goes right, five other things go wrong. Found out last week that someone stole my identity and used it to run up a $1,500 heating bill and a $600 electric bill. Luckily my ex is a nice guy and kept everything in his name until I get things figured out. What a flippin' mess. My new man and I have been talking about him moving in within the next month or so. That is wonderful and very exciting. Again, one good thing happens and then I got dumped on again. My teenager had an episode two weeks ago and Todd and I had to drive her to the ER where she checked herself into the hospital. Now that she's 16 I'm pretty much only needed to sign papers and pay the co pays. No one would tell me anything at all. Nothing! Todd and I sat in the coldest room ever just waiting for them to find her a bed in the psych ward. It was horrible. She was the one who finally told me that she stopped taking her meds. ((sigh)) If she hadn't of told me I never would have known! So, FYI, if your kid is 16 the doctors don't have to tell you shit! Anyway, I went to visit her every day she was there until she checked herself out. I think being on the adult ward freaked her out. She's been home and has been taking her meds regularly. Let's hope it stays that way.

So yeah, life is hectic. Wonderful, but hectic. My teenager is on the mend, school starts soon, I still love my job, my ex and I are getting along nicely, and my new man is becoming a huge part of our lives. Life is good.