July 23, 2011

Falling Behind......On Everything!!

There was a sickness making it's way through our house and I'm the last one to get it. But hey! I topped them all by adding pneumonia to it! HELL YEAH! That's how I roll. -_- But seriously though, it's been Hell around here trying to take care of the kids, the dogs, the house and still working. It's almost over. I've been on an antibiotic since Thursday morning and I'm starting to feel a tad bit better. I think I've got it worse than the rest did because I have asthma. YAY, asthma!! -_-  The coughing is so bad. I may or may not have peed my pants once due to coughing so hard. Let's not talk about that though. Let's talk about my idea for a business. SAHM/D and Single Moms and yes, Single Dads too, don't get sick days. Parents who work can call in sick and stay home in bed getting better. I know my ex used to crawl upstairs "dying" and slept all day just to get over a stomach bug or a chest cold. Big baby. :) Anyway! My idea is to start a service where we send YOU someone to take over household duties for a few hours while you sleep or go to the doctors without having to worry about your kids or the cleaning! Perfect, right?! I'm a genius!! Or not. It is a good concept though. I can't tell you how many times I've found myself wishing somebody would come rescue me when I was sick and had to care for 2 small children. I'm sure everybody who stays home with kids has wished the same thing.

So now that I'm on the mend I can get back to cleaning my house (which is a disaster!!), laundry and the really important things like Tweeting and blogging. Yup. I'm all about priorities. ;)

July 12, 2011

The Laws Of Teenagers And How They Can Effect You

Raven is 15 years old going on 5. Granted, this whole divorce thing has turned her world upside down and flipped around, but still......the girl is the biggest drama queen. I had actually thought of just not telling her and letting her think her Dad was abducted by aliens and is allowed to come home 2 days a week, because that is just how much I did not want to tell her. I kid, I kid. When I told her there were tears and lots of them. I talked to her and explained that it was for the best. She cried some more. I called her therapist and asked if we could go back to every week instead of every two weeks just to help her through this. So far so good. Now, since this happened she has said that she doesn't want to be home with us, she doesn't want to talk to us and just wants to be left alone. Now, I let this slide for a few weeks because I didn't want to stress her out and have her lose more hair. But after her not being home for almost 2 weeks and only coming and going for money, food and clothes, I had had enough. I talked to her and said that this is our life now and she has got to learn to deal with it. Boy did she hate me. She was pissed!! But, I held strong and didn't back down. What came next surprised even me! She had a list of things I am not allowed to do. Here it is.....

  • I'm not allowed to date. Ever. Forget ever getting married again because that would ruin her life all over again.
  • I'm not allowed to go out. Ever again. God forbid if a man sees me all dressed up and looking good.
  • I'm not allowed to look good. I need to cover up and stop wearing makeup.
  • I can't have a night job. (I'm pretty sure she has an idea that I used to dance and is horrified that I may go back)
  • I can't turn into one of "those crazy pet hoarders because I'm lonely". (Seriously, kid? WTF?)
That last one is my favorite. HAH! Because I would totally hoard myself some chihuahuas. Look, I get it. She's a teenage girl going through a lot of shit. I get it! Doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I love that she's fine and happy until I tell her she can't dye her hair pink, or I won't let her pierce her face again or she has to spend time with the family at the beach. Funny thing about making her spend time with us is, she always has a good time. Always!! I think it's important to force your teenager to do something horrifying like spend time with their family or have family movie night. It's good for them!! She's lucky I don't make her play Twister with us.

As far as her list of "Things My Mother Is Not Allowed To Do", I just said "Yes, dear. Don't worry. Mommy will have no life at all" and I really don't plan on dating or getting married anytime soon either. Unless of course Michael Fassbender comes along and wants me, then I'm all over that!! ;)

July 11, 2011

Slowly Getting Used To Being A Single Mom........Again!

Don't know if some of you already know this or not, but I was a single Mom to my teenager for 5 years before I got married to Kevin. It was tough, I'm not going to lie, but we managed. I did what I had to do for years to get by. I was a stripper. The hours were exactly what I needed, I came and went as I pleased, if I had to call out no one gave me a hard time and most of all...I could make a lot of money in just one night. I started when she was a year old and kept dancing till I got married. Actually, I danced for about a year after I got married, so almost 7 years. In between I had "real jobs" every now and then, mostly during the Summer time when the business was slow. I never let the business get to me like it did some of my friends. I just worked and that was that. Then after I got married things were a little different, I didn't want to be there anymore and Kevin wanted me to stay home. So I did. I became a Stay-At-Home-Mom. And I loved it! Now that things have changed and Kevin isn't here anymore I'm having to relearn how to be a Single Mom. Damn it's hard. And now I have three kids to care for! THREE!! AHHHH!! So far so good though. I haven't lost one yet, they're all clean and well fed. I'm the one who hasn't showered yet and I'm mostly eating their leftovers. LOL!! But we are managing. I'm having to change a lot of things, like bedtime. Kevin used to put Lex to bed and I would put Lo to bed. Now I'm having to figure out how to do that. Thankfully it's Summer vacation and we haven't had to plow right into the school time routine and I can kinda get used to things now and be all set in the Fall. Since I can't leave either of them alone I now make a bed on the living room floor and put Lo on the left and Lex on the right. I sit in the middle and read them a bedtime story and they then fall sleep. :D I actually like it. I realize that we can't always do that, so I plan on moving Lo upstairs with us, moving the computer and bookshelf downstairs to her room and that will be the office. I think that will work. When I told Lex he was very excited about it. Right now he's only 5 and isn't wanting his own room, but when he does I'll move him into Lo's room and Lo into his room and move the computer back up here. VoilĂ !! I got it all figure out. ;)

There is one thing about this whole Single Mom thing that I am still not liking.......laundry. It's not so much the laundry, because I love doing it, it's the fact that it's in the basement with all the spiders!!!!!! I may have to date the Orkin Man. Every time I go down there one attacks me!! One ran across my foot yesterday. I died a little inside. So now when I go down there I get fully dressed and wear a hat. Pathetic. But hey! I get it done. ;)

I'm sure things will get a lot tougher once I'm working more and have to come home to a messy house and a bunch of dirty kids, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now I'm enjoying spending time with my kids and learning how to do this all over again without screaming at the top of my lungs every 5 minutes when the kids are fighting or messing things up or just plain getting on my nerves. Like just now......I yelled. Hey, no ones perfect, but I try. :D

July 8, 2011

A New Beginning.......With An Old Story

It's been a while since I've posted anything, and for good reason. Things in my life have been turned upside down and have taken a turn for the better. Over a month ago my husband and I have decided to get a divorce. I blame The Rapture. While I am not a religious person and in no way believed a thing that loony was saying about the end of the world and all, it did open my eyes to one day I am going to die and I wanted to die happy. And I was not happy. I was content, but far from happy. That's when it clicked.....I was not in love with my husband and I was fairly certain he wasn't in love with me either, so I had a talk with him and voilĂ ! Here we are. He has practically moved out and is already moving on with his life because well, he needs that. I have my kids, the house and the dogs to keep me company. My littles have no idea what's going on, my teenager, on the other hand, is having a very hard time with it. Therapy is helping, very slowly, but it is helping. She has a great therapist who she's been seeing for years mainly because of her alopecia.  I'm hoping she comes to term with it soon and is able to move on. I'll keep you updated on that one.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm doing great. I felt trapped for so long and now that we are practically divorced I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am a bit worried about my future. How am I going to support myself and my kids? I've spent the past 10 years being a wife and what? I never had a desire to do or be anything else. I went to school in Germany to be a dental assistant, but I'd have to start from scratch here. Not that I really want to do that, but I would just to get on my feet. My friend, who is also my lawyer, keeps telling me she needs an office slave. LOL! The biggest problem is this.....Lo is still home all day. I guess I could put her in preschool a year early, but I'm not comfortable with that. Kevin and I have always agreed that the kids should stay home with me until they're 4 and then only half weeks in preschool, not full day. Lex is going to be in kindergarten from 8:30 to 3! That's a long day!! I work 2-3 days a week now in the afternoons and Kevin comes and stays with the kids, but he can only do afternoons and not everyday. So now what? I will take a year to get on my feet, take a course and then start working full-time next year when Lo is in school. I just hope things go smoothly. Wish me luck! :)