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November 26, 2010

Teenagers Are Gross.....

Not only are they gross, but they're whole purpose in life is to piss us off. That, and to sleep/eat/talkonthephone. Just today my teenager decided to not call me and tell me she was going to be walking to McDonald's when she was supposed to be at the mall where I left her. Not only that, but she left without doing her chores and I refuse to follow her around and remind her of the things she needs to be doing daily. She wants me to treat her like a grownup, she better start acting like one. So today when she left, she didn't close her door all the way and one of the dogs went in there and peed and pooped on her floor. So I went in to clean and was like...."Why bother?! This room is disgusting!" I decided to take pictures and show the world what living with a teenager is really like. So behold!! The teenager's room!!!!..........

Apparently she's storing up for the Winter.....

Those aren't raisins, people!!!

Because putting your clothes away neatly is just not cool.....

Because on the floor, next to the bed is EXACTLY where things belong.......

And just so the other side doesn't feel left out......

Yes, that's maple syrup. You know, just in case she has the hankerin' for some waffles......

And her bed, also known as "The place where I throw all my junk"......

You're probably thinking..."My gawd. What kind of Mother are you, posting these pictures?!?!" I'm the kind of Mom that believes that spreading the word and raising awareness of just exactly how gross teenagers can be is beneficial to everyone. Especially Moms who haven't dealt with it yet. I hope this has helped. 

Side note: she has cleaned her room and it now looks like a normal human being lives in there and not some squatter.  And believe it or not, she has a down comforter with a nice cover that she refused to actually use. Instead, she uses the old blankets and pillow cases, because "it's too hard to put the cover on the comforter". -_-





November 24, 2010

Another Embarrassing Mommy Moment

I've said it before, now I'm saying it again...I could write a book and fill it with all the embarrassing things my kids say or do. Just re-reading this post makes me wanna cry. But, I'm a pro at this by now, so I just keep on truckin'! Things happen. Kids say or do things that I can't control. There are situations that I can't control either. Just this morning something happened that reminded me of a mortifying incident that happened a few months ago. It was a regular Saturday night. The hubs was out working, Lola was sleeping, Lex and I were about to watch a movie and the teenager had a friend coming over. As Lex and I were sitting on the couch getting ready to watch our movie the teen walks in and starts talking about something or another. She sits down, on the remote, and the channels start changing at a rapid pace. Lex is freaking out because our movie had just started, the teen is trying to get up and I'm trying to reach under her arse to get the damn remote! I grab it, start pushing the "exit" button to make it stop switching channels and that's when it happens. It stops on a porn channel. Now, you have to order the porn for it to actually be playing, but the name is clear as day right there for my young teenager to see......."Foot Long Black Dong". Yes, you read that right. She's staring at it with a looks of "WTF?!?!" and I'm frantically trying to change the channel. No such luck. The damn remote picks that exact moment to act like an ass and it won't change. This is kinda how it went....

ME: "DAMN!! CHANGE ALREADY!!!"
TEEN: "EW! MOM!!! What?!? OMG!!! EWWW!"
LEX: "MOOOOOOOMMMMMAAAAA! Our MOOOOVIE!!!! Come on!!!"
ME: "WTF is wrong with this damn remote?!?! C'MON!!!!!!!!! CHANGE!!"
TEEN: "I think I'm gonna be sick. That is SO gross! Grown ups are SOOO gross! EWWW!!!"

-_- -insert dying here- The thing finally changes to the right channel leaving the embarrassing words behind, but forever imprinted on my young daughter's mind. Things finally calm down, her friend shows up and Lex and I start our movie over. End of story. Right? WRONG! A few weeks later I go into her room to change her sheets, I put on a fresh one and notice there's writing on the damn thing.  I lean in to read what it says and I'm shocked! Just shocked! You probably guessed by now what it says.....that's right. Written in permanent black sharpie are the words. "Foot Long Black Dong" on my 14 year old teenage daughter's flowered sheets. When I asked her why she would do something like that she replied "I would never do that! She did it! -insert other teen's name here-! I told her what happened and she thought it was hilarious and wrote it on my sheets". I just shook my head and walked away. End of story. Right? WRONG!!! Lex has been sick for the past 2 days and I have been making a little sick bed on one of our couches for him to lay on. I like to cover them with a blanket or a sheet so as to prevent the spread of ick. This morning while I'm folding laundry he sits up and says "Mom. There's words on SisSis's sheet. What does this say?" Oh my gawd. No. Please say it ain't so. Yes, I forgot about the writing on the sheet and used that particular sheet to cover my little man's sick bed with. ((sigh)) I walk over, pretend to read the horrible writing and say as calmly as I can. "This says..."Teenagers are idiots". He laughs and laughs and I walk away trying not to laugh. For now that is the end of the story, but I'm pretty sure there will be plenty more embarrassing Mommy moments to come.

November 23, 2010

"I GOT THE YUKES!!!" Or What I Like To Call All Night Puking Party

I can't believe it's only November and we're already dealing with puke. Can't we at least get past the Holidays?! GEESH!! Anywho. Yesterday was Lex's "Feast Day" at school. He got all dressed up to go celebrate Thanksgiving with his school friends only to end up with horrible stomach cramps and diarrhea. I got the call that he was sick and I literally flew down to pick him up. My poor little man was sitting with one of the helper Dads and he was crying. When he saw me he ran to me all hunched over and begged me to carry him. Sorry, Lo.....you gotta walk! And walk she did. :) We get home, I got him undressed and made sure he was under his cozy "brown blanket", got him some water and turned on SpongeBob for him. Took him a good few hours but he finally puked. Poor kid was sleeping when it happend, so it got all over him and the couch. My dogs hightailed it outta there as fast as they could. They don't like sick humans. That was pretty much how the rest of the day and night went. He has puked once today and was able to hold down a cracker and some ginger ale, so I'm hoping it's over. And I hope no one else gets sick! Thanksgiving is Thursday for cryin' out loud!!!! I went through that once, being sick on Thanksgiving, and I am ALLLLLL set with doing it again. BUT! I am pretty sure we are not out of the woods. ((sigh)) The only good thing about me getting the stomach flu? I'd drop 5+ pounds. LOL!!!


November 22, 2010

This Boy......

Is fun.....

Energetic......

He makes me laugh....

And he has the best personality......

And I just love him so.......





November 19, 2010

Teenagers & Inner Beauty Day

Last week my daughter's school had "Inner Beauty Day". A day where everyone comes to school with no makeup, their hair undone and they try and be happy about it. I thought this was a good idea, but I was doubtful my teenager would participate. Boy, oh boy did she surprise me! Not only was she going to participate, but she helped to design the t-shirts..........




She came up with the logo, color and all. Yes, I'm bragging. Just a little. The whole idea was for kids to participate, to want to participate, so they had the t-shirts made and sold them to help raise money. They also made up cards to give to the boys so they could pass them out to the girls who came to school "rockin' their inner beauty". Some of the cards said things like "You are beautiful, inside and out" or "Love the REAL you!". Cute things like that. Raven did go to school au naturel and came home smiling saying "It was a good day". Then she went on to tell me how horrible some of her teachers looked. -_- And I quote..."Sorry, Mom, but pregnant women NEED makeup. Mrs. XXXXX looked dead. That was just scary!" Lovely, Raven...just lovely. Typical teenager. LOL!!!!

November 18, 2010

Mommy Movie Moment

I thought that this time around I would write about the movies I'm looking forward to and not the ones I've seen. I'm just about to burst with excitement because I get to finally see the new Harry Potter movie tomorrow! YAY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I'm a nerd. So here ya go....

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows
I have been a fan of the books and movies since before the books were movies. I'm not gonna lie, I get choked up whenever I hear the HP music. It's actually called Hedwig's Theme. :) So, as we've done for the past 9 years we are going to see the new movie the night it opens. The first HP movie we actually saw at a midnight showing, Raven loved that! Now, we'll, let's just saw the only thing I'm doing at  midnight is sleeping. :)

Your Highness
Talk about hilarious! I almost peed my pants laughing at this trailer. It's a redband trailer, but oh my gawd, watch it! It stars Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel, James Franco (hubba hubba!) and Danny McBride, who I think is just too damn funny. Here's a short synopsis from IMDb: "A fantasy movie about an arrogant, lazy prince and his more heroic brother who must complete a quest in order to save their father's kingdom." Really looking forward to that! Too bad I have to wait till April 2011.

Red Riding Hood
I really like the way this movie looks. I'm all about movies set in medieval times, love that! Throw in some werewolves and you got yourself a winner!!! It's about a village that's haunted by a werewolf and a girl who falls in love with a woodcutter.....that's about all I know, really. It looks great though. I adore Gary Oldman and I think Amanda Seyfried is just sweet. Looking forward to March 2011. :) Watch the trailer here.

Cowboys And Aliens
There is just something about cowboys that drive me wild!!! I love them! Sexy as Hell. So when my husband told me that Daniel Craig was going to be staring in this, I was allllll over it! It's set in Silver City, Arizona, mid 19th century, an Alien space ship lands and all Hell breaks loose. Look, it's got Harrison Ford in it, for cryin' out loud! You know it's gonna be good. Watch the trailer.

The Green Lantern
Look, I don't care what anyone says about this movie. Ryan Reynolds is in it, so I will be seeing it. I am not, nor have I ever been a fan of the comic books, but the trailer looks pretty good, and again, Ryan Reynolds, people!!!!!

Cars 2
My son is looking forward to this, and I gotta admit, so am I. I loved the first movie and this one looks super cute. :)

Now....let's get on to the very important movies.....and Michael Fassbender.

Jane Eyre
I loved this book. I think I could read it over and over again and now that Michael Fassbender is staring it it, I have just one more reason to love it more. Watch the trailer here.

A Dangerous Method
I don't really care what this movie is about, all I do care about is that Michael Fassbender and Viggo Mortensen are staring in it. Nuff said. But this is the synopsis from IMBd: "A look at how the intense relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud gives birth to psychoanalysis." It's in post-production, no release date yet nor is there a trailer, but I am waiting.

X-Men: First Class
Yes, there's another X-Men movie coming out and yes Michael Fassbender is playing Magneto. Yum!! It takes place in the 1960's, Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr meet and become friends. If you're a nerd you'll know what I'm talking about. If you're not, then you probably don't really care. I was not a fan of the last X-Men movie, not one bit. I thought it was dumb. Sorry. I do think this movie sounds promising. And again......Michael Fassbender, people!!!! It can't be bad. ;)

November 11, 2010

No......I Can't......I Won't......

I refuse to look at this picture.....

I will not be tempted.........

 I can NOT have another dog......

Even if he is just the cutest thing........

And needs a new home.......

I can't! I won't! I refuse to give into.......

The cuteness.....

Of the "'tocks"!






November 10, 2010

Forget Lia Sophia!! I'm Throwing A Home Vasectomy Party!

I'm pretty sure everyone knows where I stand on having more kids. I'm all done. I would love to have a ton of kids, but the reality of it is, I just can't handle more. I have my hands full as it is. So when one night of passion turns into an almost 2 week scare wait, I think it's time to do something about it. I'm talking about a vasectomy. My husband needs to get it done. And fast! You see, I can't take any kind of birth control with hormones in it due to the fact that it turns me into the Devil himself. I'm not talking about a little moodiness, I'm talking about wanting to kill someone, beat someone or wanting to run away from home. It was bad. Getting the IUD taken out was the best thing ever. I had the Mirena  8 years ago and loved it! No problems whatsoever. So after Lo was born I wanted to try it again. HUUUUUUUGE mistake! Horrible side effects that time around. I am just now losing the extra 30 pounds I packed on almost immediately after I had it inserted. Speaking of which, I really should do an update post about Operation Get Sexy soon. Things are going well. :) Anyway! After I had it taken out I told the hubby that I was all done having kids. He needed to seriously think about getting a vasectomy, because I would divorce him if I "accidently" got pregnant. We all know that he wants more kids, and all it would take would be a bottle of wine and a very late night and BAM. Pregnant. "But, Honey!! You said I could!!!" -_- Yeah. Right. Ok. Something like that just happen recently and all I have to say is this.......THANK GAWD I'M NOT PREGNANT!! I'm not gonna lie, I thought I was. I was like...."Well, you were there, too, Nina, so you can't complain. Just go with it". I was talking myself into it just in case I was, so when I saw those 2 lines I wouldn't lose it. But I'm not. And I'm happy! Now.....time to get the hubs on board with the vasectomy, because I'd hate to have to do it myself. he. he. he. he. he.

November 9, 2010

My Teenager Will Be The Next Trashy Romance Author

Ever since Raven was a little girl she had the most active imagination. Sometimes a little too much. I was actually called to her preschool because of a story she told to the class during story time. Let's just say at that time I thought she'd be the next Stephen King! I have never been one to stifle her imagination, I encourage it. So last week when she came to me and said "I wrote a story and I want you to read it and tell me what you think" I was all like "SUUUUURE!!"....then I read the story. Let's just say that I had to put it down and take a deep breath. Now, there was nothing horrible about the story, no sex or anything like that, but it was definitely a bit too mature for a 14 year old to be writing. Now what was I supposed to do?!?! Was I supposed to be honest, or let her just go with it? I decided to tell her how I felt. So I told her..."Raven, it's a good story, but it's a bit too mature for you to be writing, but I don't want you to stop. Just keep it clean, no sex" Boy, oh boy she can not take constructive criticism. "Whaddayamean?!?! There was nothing bad in it!!!! WHADDAYAMEAN?!?!?!" Oh the drama. She snatched the story out of my hand and stomped off to her room and slammed the door. Geesh. Now I'm pretty sure she'll not ask me for my opinion for a while. And taking a picture of it to post here was totally out of the question. HAH!