October 28, 2013

Where The Hell Is My Maid?!

I swear to God I am going to fire her when I see her. The house is a mess, the laundry needs to be folded and put away. The floors haven't been done all week. The dishes are piling up and the animals need to be fed. What the Hell do I pay her for? Not to show up? Not to clean? To sit around and do nothing. Apparently so! The nerve!

 I keep having to remind myself that I, in fact, do not have a maid. It's just me. When I remember this I get really sad. The fantasy that I have someone to do all this for me is such an inviting one. I never want to leave that dream. Just think about leave for work and 8 hours later you come home to a clean house! How fantastic would that be?? ((sigh)) But I don't, and I probably never will. So, I have to make my daily list of things that need to be done, have breakfast and then get to it. Oh the grind!!!!!!!


October 16, 2013

The "C" Word

I refuse to say it. I just can't bring myself to talk about the "C" word. Not before November! I mean, we aren't even through Halloween yet and I am already seeing the "C" word decorations up?! WTF is that?! Are we in such a rush to get there that we have to start in October? Poor Thanksgiving, you barely see any decorations for that holiday. I mean yeah, a few Autumn decorations posing as Thanksgiving decorations, but we all know what they really are. I think Thanksgiving should go back to the way it was celebrated! I loved that holiday when I was a kid. I wasn't much of a Halloween lover, I was a scaredy cat. It's true. I couldn't wait for all the scary decorations to be gone. That there was something I've never told anyone, because I am supposed to be a bad ass. We'll keep that a secret, k?

So here we are, October 16th, and we are already in full "C" word mode. Commercials, the stores have the fake trees out already and the decorations are blinding me as I walk down the isle to get my tampons. Something really needs to be done about this.


October 12, 2013


I still can't believe it's October. Where the Hell did this year go? I feel like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating New Years with Todd.....

Yeah, good times!! Side note: Don't fall asleep near us, we will do things like this to you. Anyway. It's that time of the year when I decorate the house, the yard and prepare costumes for my kids. This yeah Lex wants to be Slender Man. O.O Don't ask. Lo wants to be Minnie Mouse, not as scary, but very cute. I'm going as myself.....scary.

October 10, 2013

Ok, I Lied....I am SO Not Ready For Winter

I'm cold. My house is cold. My kids are cold. My pets are cold. And I refuse to turn the heat on. Do you know how many times a day I say "Put a sweater on!"? A lot! My poor kids are sleeping with three blankets because I am too cheap to turn the heat on. Well, not cheap, just frugal. Winter is coming and what little oil we have I need to save save save till I can afford to buy more. I wash all my clothes in cold water, I limit showers, I make sure everyone does the dishes the right way (my way is the only right way, if you're not doing it my way, you're doing it wrong and I will make sure you know it!) and I am not turning the heat on till November. I flat out refuse. But damn I'm cold!