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October 27, 2010

Don't Be "THAT" Mom

Being the Mom of a teenager means I see a whooooole lotta drama! Every day my daughter is mad at this girl or that girl or that guy or that guy's cousin......it's never ending. I do what every Mom should do.....I stay out of it! Unfortunately, not all Moms and Dads think the same way I do and can't help but get in the middle of said drama. Just the other day there was an incident on Facebook with a Mom calling one of my daughter's friend a "bitch". Yes, a grown woman called a 14 year old girl a "bitch". I just could not believe it. My first thought was to comment, but I knew that would just make it worse. There are people I like to call "Keyboard Warriors". They feel brave sitting behind their computer screen and type out nasty comments without thinking twice, but when it comes to the real world, they would probably never say half of the things they write on the internet. So commenting back would be childish. I did the next best thing, I told the girl to tell her Mother what was going on. She did and it's being worked out. Hopefully without violence.

This whole thing made me think of the story from a few years ago when a Mom got involved in some drama and the teenager, Megan Meier,  killed herself because of it. That is just one of many, many stories of teens killing themselves because of bullying. It's hard enough for them going through high school, puberty, relationships and so much more, do we parents have to add to it?! I am in no way saying stay out of it, I'm saying be diligent, talk with your kids, don't add to the drama. I've included some links to some very helpful websites that talk about bullying and how to deal with it.
I am currently trying to teach my daughter that lashing out, even with hurtful words, is just not ok. Dealing with your emotions can be hard, but taking a step back, breathing and thinking about what you say or do before you do it, can save a lot of trouble and heartache. Life is hard, but we have to learn to deal with it as best we can. If there was one thing I could say to my daughter about crappy things that happen in life, it would be this......"Nothing last forever, not pain, not humiliation.....nothing! It does get better." One Mom wrote a letter to her daughter on her blog and she took the words right out of my mouth....

Vicky Bell's Blog: Letter To My Daughter (in wake of senseless tragedy)

Well written and so very true. :) It's our job as parents to try and teach our kids right from wrong, to guide them through the good times and the bad and to be there when they needs us. Unfortunately we can only do so much, the rest is up to them.


October 22, 2010

Once There Was A Princess....

And her name was Lola......

She was quiet, sweet and just adorable....
Seriously....

She grew up faster than her adoring parents wanted her to....

And became sweeter and happier than ever.....
HAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!

And then one day the little Princess grew into a sweet little girl adored by many.....

But what most people didn't know, was that the Princess had a dark side.....

The Princess was TWO!....

And wasn't always the happy, sweet little Princess everyone believed her to be......

In fact, some days she was just miserable for no reason at all!!!.......

This would sometimes wear on Mommy, but that didn't stop her from loving the little Princess one bit....




October 20, 2010

Teenagers Do NOT = Help

I can't tell you how many times someone has said to me...."Oh, you have a teenager? She must be loads of help!" I only stand there and try not to laugh hysterically in their face. Just because there is someone above the age of preschooler does not mean they are capable, willing or able to help. When my son was born my oldest daughter was 10 years old. And yes, she was helpful. She was also still cleaning her room without me asking, too. All that ended when she turned 12. I don't know what happened, maybe it was her starting her period, maybe it was her being influenced by her friends, or maybe evil aliens came down, kidnapped my sweet little girl and replaced her with the demon teenager that resides here now. Who knows!! One thing I do know is this......I am not alone. Every parent I talk to that has a teenager says the same thing...."Oh my gawd! My kid is the same way!! I want to strangle him/her" Boys are no different than girls, either. So, Moms of all boys, don't get your hopes up. :D heheheee!!

Don't get me wrong, Raven is really helpful at times, but, I have to talk to her like she's 5 and write everything out for her to actually see/read and check off as she goes. And the entire time all I hear is "UGHH!!! Mumble, mumble, mumble. Moan and groan!!!" -insertstompinghere- It's a constant battle. Babysitting? Forget it!! She will babysit, but everything has to be done for her a head of time and Lo has to be sleeping when we leave. Last night she watched both kids for an hour and I swear I will never hear the end of it..."See, Mom?! I can babysit Lex without killing him! You owe me a new piercing" -_-  And on and on. So she does help, but sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth. I really can't complain though. She does well in school, she's not doing drugs or drinking, she only mouths off occasionally and she still acts like she loves us.....sometimes.

So if you're sitting there staring at your darling little child and thinking to yourself..."HAH! She's nuts. My kid will never be like that. Ever!" I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. Don't take it personally.


October 14, 2010

I Love My Dogs And My Cat, BUT.....

I'm at my wits end with the damn fleas!!! I am seriously thinking about shaving all my animals and making them wear cute little sweaters until flea season is over. BAH! I work at a pet supply store, so I know how bad this season was. It was bad. Hell, it still is! We haven't been able to keep the flea sprays, bathes and collars on the shelves. Every week we get an order in and within 4 days it's all gone. Fleas suck. I am fed up with the bathing, the washing, the spraying the vacuuming and the combing. It's tiresome. And anyone who knows me, knows I run a tight ship! My house is clean. It may be messy, but it is clean. So when I'm laying on the couch rubbing my dog's belly and happen to notice 2 fleas on him, I kinda get pissed off. It's been a long day (been up since 6am), I am not staying up to bathe my dogs, and it wouldn't matter since I can't change my sheets since someone is sleeping on them already. So I ignore it. It will have to wait till tomorrow. I will get up, rip the sheets off (probably with lots of swearing involved), do my usual morning routine, get my boy off to school, go grocery shopping, pick my teenager's dress up from the shop, grab her the shoes she just has to have, come home, get Lo situated with a movie or something, then I will kill every damn flea in this house. I will spray, I will wash, I will comb, I will vacuum and I will be swearing the entire time!!!! BECAUSE I HATE FLEAS!!!! ((sigh)) There. I feel a little better now. Bedtime. I need my rest, for the war begins tomorrow. I will prevail.

October 13, 2010

Loving The 4's, Surviving the 2's and Clawing my way through the Teens

If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would have 3 kids so different in ages I would have laughed in their faces. But here I am, the Mom of the "3 Extremes". A teenager in full hormonal swing, a 4 year old who is now a pre-schooler and tries to be Mr. Helpful, and then there's my Lo. She's 2. Nuff said. I have to admit, 4 is my favorite age. I love the 4s!! They're all helpful, kind, sweet, loving and just plain fun. Lex is into pretend play, watching movies with us, arts and crafts, he listens very well and is just so loving. So yeah...I love me some 4s!!! It's not that I don't love the various ages, each one has a little somein' special to offer. For example...Lo is 2. She's so sweet, but then she can turn on you like a a rabid dog! So she brings excitement! You never know what's gonna happen next and you're always on guard. Then there's Raven. My teenager. Some days it feels like there's a ticking time bomb walking around here. "Is she in a good mood or in a really horrible mood?" or "Should I even approach her?! Do I dare?!?!" That is what living with a teenager is like. More ups and downs than a roller coaster. But then you learn to read minds, one of the perks of living with a teenager. I can read her mind like no one's business. I know when to approach, when to stay away and when I'm allowed to give her a hug. WIN!

Most days I feel so exhausted from being pulled in so many different directions. I have to remember to not treat Raven like a child, I have to remember that the other 2 are still children and not to expect too much from them. Then I have to remember that, yes, Raven is still my child and not to expect too much from her either, even though she thinks she's grown. WHEW!!! So much to remember. Then throw in appointments, homework, dinner planning, work, cleaning, showers, breathing........I'm surprised I'm still standing. Some days I don't even get into bed before 10 because I'm so damn busy. But I manage, somehow. And most days I'm showered and smiling. Can't beat that! But I swear to GAWD if my husband talks about having "just one more" I will lose it completely.

October 4, 2010

Am I The ONLY One Who Was Warned About Motherhood?!

I'm a Mommy blogger lover. I search the web for all kinds of Mommy blogs. I can't help myself, they're addicting. Some can be better than books. Just recently I have seen a few post on various blogs about Motherhood and why no one warned them about what was to come. Sleepless nights, not showering, not having time to yourself and so on and so on. I was astonished!!! No one told these women? No one warned them? They didn't already know what was going to happen?!?! I just could not believe this. Maybe I have more honest friends and family than these women. Or maybe I tore off my rose colored glasses as soon as I saw those two lines. Or maybe it was because I was a babysitter throughout my teen years and I've seen children at their best and most certainly at their worst! Either way.....I knew what was coming.

When I got pregnant with my oldest I was only 21. Found out the Father was not someone I wanted in my life and promptly kicked him to the curb. I was going to be a single Mom. Reality sunk in that I was going to be doing this all alone. No help. And I was fine with that. I didn't sit there and think of all the horrible things that were to come, I didn't want to do that, so I focused on the positive. I worked 2 jobs trying to save up enough money so I could take 2 months off after Raven was born. Every now and then I would forget that my future would be filled with sleepless nights and one day I made a very stupid comment to my sister. I was exhausted from working so much and said to her "I can't wait for this baby to be born so I can get some rest. All this work is killing me!" My sister laughed and laughed and laughed some more. That's when I realized my mistake. I would never sleep again. -_- And that is pretty much the truth. Raven still has night terrors and she's 14!! x_x <----Me.

So when people tell me that "no one warned them that Motherhood would be so tough", I just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh some more. I'm the total opposite of most women, when I see a Mom about to have a baby, I'm  honest. I tell her about the "Three P's", puke, pee and poo. They will all get her at some point. I tell her that she probably won't shower much. I tell her that is is the hardest thing she will probably ever do. I warn her about the sleepless nights and the horrible teething that will make her want to rip her uterus and womb right out of her own body for fear she'd ever have another baby. But then I tell her that, just like labor, you forget about all the bad stuff the minute your baby looks at you and smiles. Because one thing they all had right was this.......it is worth every bit of it. Being a Mother is the most rewarding job.