March 27, 2014

Spring Cleaning......Also Known As Torture

I hate cleaning. It's just so tedious, I have no time for it. Problem is, I'm the only one who really knows how to clean. Todd cleans, he does the litter boxes, dishes, folds the laundry and puts it away, and he straightens up, but he does not know how to clean. I like to spring clean. I open windows, move furniture, get behind the book shelves, I vacuum every inch of my house. Nothing is safe! You may be asking yourself "If this woman hates cleaning so damn much, why does she clean so damn much?" BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!! I was an Army Brat growing up, with a very strict/scary mother. Sunday mornings in our house was torture. Up at 7am, no breakfast till your chores were done. GRAB A TOOTHBRUSH!! And that is how I became this. I can't help myself!!

So it has begun. Spring cleaning in my house always starts with clearing out old toys, clothes and things that are just lingering around with no purpose. And there is a lot of that lingering around here. I blame my hoarding son. I ask that if you have it in you, you should definitely pray for poor Todd. He thinks this weekend is date weekend, it is not. It is SPRING CLEANING WEEKEND!!! Grab a toothbrush, Todd!


March 15, 2014

Shhhhh......Winter Is Leaving

I don't want to say this too loud for fear of jinxing us all, but I think winter is finally leaving. The snow piles are getting smaller, the days lingers and the weather warmer. We have survived. Just barely. Lo has had a tough winter. If it wasn't one illness it was another and they were all one right after another. Poor kid. Head and chest cold, stomach virus, fever and then finally, an ear infection. She is much much better now. I bought her some colorful flowers to cheer her up.

Having flowers in the house again made me feel good. I'm looking forward to gardening soon. Hell, I'm looking forward to just being outside again! I think everyone is. So, here's to winter leaving and spring taking over!!


March 4, 2014

Fine....Just Don't Call Me Grandma

So my teenager is having a baby. But don't worry, "she's 18 years old and knows what she's doing". -_- She met a boy, fell in love and BAM! That's it, they NEEDED to have a baby. Like, right now. So yeah, they made the choice to do this, and now this is due in April. Actually, her name is Mila Jean. Thankfully they chose a normal name and not something like Brooklyn or some other "lyn" version of a decent name someone decided wasn't good enough. Whatever. She is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. I was pissed when I first found out. I mean I was livid, I was "I never want to see you, that piece of shit boyfriend or that baby" pissed. Oh mouth, listening to anger before brain, haven't I told you about that?? Words that I wish I had spoken just a bit differently. Hey, I have the right to be angry. My teenage daughter, who is bipolar, on heavy meds, who makes very poor decisions all the time, had just gone and gotten pregnant on purpose and she quit school. I mean....what could go wrong???????? Everything. And being her mother, that is what I see.....everything going wrong. But, she is 18, in charge of her own life and self, she has the right to make her own decisions, even the bad ones, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So I let go and accepted it, I don't like it, but I have to accept it. Just don't call me grandma.


February 12, 2014

I Will Not Buy A Bird......I Will Not Buy A Bird......

I'm buying a bird. It's all Carli's fault over at Twinkling Along!! She started this!! She posted about her adorable, beautiful singer canary and now I need one. I have always had birds. They are easy to care for, small and not very expensive. So why don't I have one already? Todd. -_- Todd is terrified of birds. He is an insurance salesman and frequently travels to customers' houses to help them with claims and such. On one visit he says he was "attacked" by a bird. Whatever. I think one swooped down and startled him and now he's being a baby about it. I've been conditioning him on the idea of us getting one, because we are getting one. ;) Sorry, babe.


February 5, 2014

Not A Fan Of OPK.......Other People's Kids

I'm just not. I love my kids, my friends' kids, but I draw the line there. Most kids annoy me, not all, but most. You see, I never wanted to have kids of my own, but then the teenager happened, and I liked her. Then I turned 30 and Lex happened, and I liked him, too. Then Lola happened, she's pretty cool, I'll keep her. But other people's kids, well, I'd prefer to not get too close. I don't know why I am this way. I don't mean to be, I just am. I have a terrible time connecting with my bf's kids. Doesn't help that his daughter is terribly jealous of me and acts out every. single. time. she. comes. over! It's exhausting. His son loves me though and gets my sense of humor. Just like his Dad. :) One out of two ain't bad. And honestly, if I can be honest here, I really don't care if she likes me, she doesn't have to. She just has to obey the rules and behave herself while she's at our home. That may seem harsh to some people, but that is just the way I am. I'm not mean to OPK, I just keep my distance. just dawned on me that I am going to be a terrible grandmother.


January 23, 2014

I Am Not A Ginger......

Last weekend my bf took me to San Fran on a business trip. It was wonderful, not long enough and I am still exhausted, but so glad I was able to go. One of my biggest problems before leaving was my hair. I had way too many grays. I needed to fix that and fast, oh, and cheap as well. So I bought a do it yourself dye kit. The ones all the hairdressers scream at. I've been dying my own hair for a long time now. When you're broke, you do what you gotta do. Anyway. Twice now I've bought a color that is very deceiving. It says "Medium Golden Brown!!!!!" Bullshit. It's red. I've made this mistake twice! One would think I'd remember the box by now. Nope! This is the fourth time I've bought it thinking "Oh look at this!! I looooooove medium golden brown! Just like my hairdresser does it!!" -_- Not so much. I look more like a hooker clown who was drunk when she dyed her hair. My bf was all like " I loooooooove the medium golden brown!!! You should totally make that mistake use that color again! You look great!!" He's a not so secret ginger lover. Whatever. I ended up using a different color.....dookie brown, or something like that. grays were gone and that is all I care about. I do still have the box of ginger sitting in my bathroom. Maybe I'll use it and surprise my man tomorrow night. ;)


January 22, 2014

Slowing Down.........Going Faster

The holidays are over, the decorations are put away, the kids are still playing happily with the new toys they got for Christmas and my sanity has returned. Kind of. Now I'm in birthday mode. One, two, three birthdays all in the next two months. That's a lot, y'all!! I'm tired just thinking about it. I'm doing low key for Todd's 40th, just family for the teenager's 18th and I'm letting Lex's dad deal with his party. Hey, he gets to claim him on his taxes, HE can pay for it. I got Lo and the teenager. Fair!

I'm thinking about going back to school. I'm done raising babies, they're all in school, so now it's time I focus on myself and our future. I'm excited! Now, if only I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up, I'd be all set! Being a grownup suck.


December 19, 2013

Christ Almighty!!!

Is the "C" word over yet?? Yes, I'm back to calling it that. I'm spent. I've been working, I've been sick, Lo's been sick, appointment after appointment, up early, to bed late, no money or time for the "C" word presents, I'm freezing and I'm cranky. That's been my month. I was all gung ho before, but now I just want it all to be over with so I can rest. So I don't have to go without the basics, like deodorant, just so I can buy presents for  my kids. You heard me right, I haven't worn deo in weeks!! I also haven't worn makeup either since I had what was probably the worst case of pink eye you've ever seen!!!! I am not even eye looked just like that. Then there's my teenager's pregnancy. That's right, the teenager is pregnant. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MEEEEE!!! The best part of that? There is no best part. -_- But don't worry, she's "almost 18 and can totally do this on her own without any help from me". Did I mention I haven't worn deodorant in weeks? So all this sweating is just terrible for me and anyone within a 5 foot radius. And I am sweating!! Todd keeps saying......"We can't raise another baby. We can't raise another baby! WE CAN'T RAISE ANOTHERRRRRR BAYYYYYYBEEEEEE!!!!". I KNOW, TODD!! Just....breath......Nina. Just breath. It can't get any worse, right? While I was sitting on the toilet crying because of all this, and the fact that I stink and look like crap, I felt a great wave of calmness come over me and I swear I heard someone say "let go". And that is what I did, and this is what happened.......

I stopped worrying about the teenager and her pregnancy, it is her pregnancy and it is something she chose, so she can worry about it. Nothing I can do. I stopped worrying about money, and guess what happened? I was offered more hours. I stopped thinking about all the Christmas presents I couldn't buy. Guess what happened sister and her wife dropped off a bag full of toys for the kids. I started feeling good again. Good enough to shower, put on makeup and I even borrowed the boyfriend's deodorant. I may smell like a man, but I look pretty damn good again......for a grandmother. o.O


December 9, 2013

Getting Into The Christmas Spirit....

It usually takes me a little bit to get into the spirit, but I get there. It's usually around the time we put up our tree.......

We picked out our tree Saturday. Lex and Lo insisted on going back to the same place we've been going to for years. We have limited space so I told them it couldn't be too big, tall is ok though. 

While the kids were with their Dad Saturday night Todd and I put the lights and ribbon on. My Christmas spirit kicked in big time. So looking forward to having all the kids here and seeing them opening their gifts. 

This year I took a different approach to decorating......I just let them do it all. I am such a control freak when it comes to decorating the tree. Everything has to be perfect, color coordinating and spread out just right. It was always stressful for me in the past, but I've recently learned how to let go, and it is glorious!! And I got to take some nice pictures while they decorated......

It was fun to watch them enjoy themselves and decorate the tree. And I swear I didn't move any of the ornaments ;)   ...........

So yeah, I am really getting into the Christmas spirit. :)


November 22, 2013

My Kids Torture Me.....

Just look at this mess.......this shit is normal around here. My kids have the best imagination. They like to build, create.....and make messes. This was all made before school at 7am this morning. Before we left for school this is exactly what my son said to me...."Mom, please put plastic over my sculpture....and don't mess with anything! Lola and I need to finish this when we get home" WTF?? Finish what? There's going to be more?? I don't know why I'm so surprised, like I said, this is normal around here. I should be used to it. I hate messes though. Messes and clutter will be the reason I snap one day. I'm going to lose it over a pile of legos laying on the floor. Nowadays going to jail doesn't sound too bad. Three meals a day, sleep, I get to watch tv, maybe take up knitting. Hell! I might even get myself a girlfriend. For now I'm going to go clean up that mess. I'll cover the damn sculpture, but I'm cleaning up the rest!! I'll just say their Dad did it. ;)


November 18, 2013

I've Made A Terrible Mistake......

When my oldest was born I was all like...."Yeah yeah yeah.....I got this. I won't talk to her like she's a baby, I won't homeschool her. I won't spoil her. I won't blah blah blah...". Then Lex was born and I was  all like "OH MY GOD HE IS NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE!!!!" See what getting old does to you? It makes you weak! Just terrible. For four years my son was always with me. We did everything together, the park, Chuck-E-Cheese, shopping....everything! He was never away from me. And he was very shy. His Dad and I thought that putting him in preschool would help him come out of his shell. It didn't. Then came Kindergarten and we were so sure that this would be the year he really shined and showed everyone the brilliant child we saw at home every day. It wasn't. First grade......I won't even talk about first grade. It was so bad that I actually contemplated homeschooling him. That is actually what I really wanted to do. I wanted to keep him home, safe, with me. Forever. But I didn't. We were moving to a new town and I thought "One more year. Let's give this school a chance. Maybe it isn't him." and here we are, second grade, a new school and a new teacher. And things are still the same. BUT, his teacher isn't like the others. She has taken the time to actually look deeper, and she has seen what we see every day. She just can't get him to to show it. And do you know why??? Because of me. Me and my "OMG HE IS NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE!!!" I have bottled my son up and he is now only comfortable with us, his family. We are all he knows. He doesn't play sports, he doesn't go to any after school programs, he isn't a part of any groups.....just us. He does not know how to socialize. And here everyone thought the homeschooled kids were the awkward ones who weren't socialized. Nope. Or the kids who some people feel bad for because they do go to after school programs and not straight home to their families. We judge those parents, how dare they not coddle their children?? When in all actuality, they aren't doing anything wrong, they are doing something right. Teaching their children how to be independent, how to rely on themselves. How to make friends. Lex doesn't know how. :( And it is all my fault.

I remember sitting on that tiny chair last Thursday at 8:10pm and saying the words "No, he doesn't have any THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!" His teacher was so nice. She gave me advice on how to help....."get him out of the house". :( FINE! I sat Lex down and said "You know, bud, we are the only ones you ever hang out with, and as much as I hate it, I need to let you go, go out and make new friends", and of course his response was "Oh, Mom. I am so sorry you're having to do this." LOL! Such a sweet little boy.

So that is what I plan on doing. I plan on helping him go out into the world and make friends and show everyone the brilliant, funny, sweet, kind and loving boy that we see every day......even if it does kill me. :)


November 11, 2013

Breaking Budget......Because I'm Lazy

Earlier this year I decided I was done with buying detergent. Done, I tell you!! And for almost a year I have been making my own laundry soap. I went through recipe after recipe, Pinterest pin after Pinterest pin, just to find the best recipe, and then I perfected it. It was wonderful! I haven't bought detergent in so long and I've saved so much money. Then it happened. I became overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do. There's so much to do around here! How does one keep up and still have time to make laundry detergent? How?! So I said "Screw it! I'm buying detergent!" I sent my man out to buy detergent and OMG it felt so good to cheat! All I had to do was rip open the packaging, throw a pod in and walk away. Blissful, I tell ya! And then I sat down and looked at my finances. I try to do this every week, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Or maybe I just didn't want to face the harsh reality that my laundry detergent making vacation was over. I added up how much I've spent on detergent and I almost cried. When you have three kids and two very old dogs, you do a lot of laundry. Every day laundry. Every. Single. Day. I have spent over $40 on detergent in the past 5 weeks. For $15 I can make laundry detergent that will last me almost 8 weeks. -_- This is so unfair. I think someone over at Tide should hire me to blog about how glorious their product is so I don't ever have to buy detergent again, or make it, for that matter! I'm so lazy.


November 9, 2013

BAM! New Blog Look!!!

Welllll??? What do you think? Am I fancy now or what? All credit goes to the wonderful Julie over at Leelou Blogs who took the time to put this all together for me!! I've used Leelou layouts for years and jumped at the chance to get a beautiful layout at a very reasonable price. They did all the work for me as well, because we all know there is no way I could have done this on my own. ;) I am very very happy, and fancy looking too!! :)


October 28, 2013

Where The Hell Is My Maid?!

I swear to God I am going to fire her when I see her. The house is a mess, the laundry needs to be folded and put away. The floors haven't been done all week. The dishes are piling up and the animals need to be fed. What the Hell do I pay her for? Not to show up? Not to clean? To sit around and do nothing. Apparently so! The nerve!

 I keep having to remind myself that I, in fact, do not have a maid. It's just me. When I remember this I get really sad. The fantasy that I have someone to do all this for me is such an inviting one. I never want to leave that dream. Just think about leave for work and 8 hours later you come home to a clean house! How fantastic would that be?? ((sigh)) But I don't, and I probably never will. So, I have to make my daily list of things that need to be done, have breakfast and then get to it. Oh the grind!!!!!!!


October 16, 2013

The "C" Word

I refuse to say it. I just can't bring myself to talk about the "C" word. Not before November! I mean, we aren't even through Halloween yet and I am already seeing the "C" word decorations up?! WTF is that?! Are we in such a rush to get there that we have to start in October? Poor Thanksgiving, you barely see any decorations for that holiday. I mean yeah, a few Autumn decorations posing as Thanksgiving decorations, but we all know what they really are. I think Thanksgiving should go back to the way it was celebrated! I loved that holiday when I was a kid. I wasn't much of a Halloween lover, I was a scaredy cat. It's true. I couldn't wait for all the scary decorations to be gone. That there was something I've never told anyone, because I am supposed to be a bad ass. We'll keep that a secret, k?

So here we are, October 16th, and we are already in full "C" word mode. Commercials, the stores have the fake trees out already and the decorations are blinding me as I walk down the isle to get my tampons. Something really needs to be done about this.


October 12, 2013


I still can't believe it's October. Where the Hell did this year go? I feel like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating New Years with Todd.....

Yeah, good times!! Side note: Don't fall asleep near us, we will do things like this to you. Anyway. It's that time of the year when I decorate the house, the yard and prepare costumes for my kids. This yeah Lex wants to be Slender Man. O.O Don't ask. Lo wants to be Minnie Mouse, not as scary, but very cute. I'm going as myself.....scary.

October 10, 2013

Ok, I Lied....I am SO Not Ready For Winter

I'm cold. My house is cold. My kids are cold. My pets are cold. And I refuse to turn the heat on. Do you know how many times a day I say "Put a sweater on!"? A lot! My poor kids are sleeping with three blankets because I am too cheap to turn the heat on. Well, not cheap, just frugal. Winter is coming and what little oil we have I need to save save save till I can afford to buy more. I wash all my clothes in cold water, I limit showers, I make sure everyone does the dishes the right way (my way is the only right way, if you're not doing it my way, you're doing it wrong and I will make sure you know it!) and I am not turning the heat on till November. I flat out refuse. But damn I'm cold!


September 24, 2013

Sweaters and Flip Flops.....

Yes, that is me........I wear sweaters and flip the same time! My body is so confused. It wants to be cold, but the sweater is saying..."No, no you're not cold. You're warm and cozy and don't need the heat on, silly!". I love this weather. I like being warm and cold at the same time. I like the comfort of having my feet free and my arms warm. So yes, I love the Fall!! It's time to start baking bread again, something I refuse to do in the Summer. I want to bake cookies, lasagna and sip on tea in the evenings and not sweat while I do it. I think it's amazing how my mind can switch so easily. Just a few weeks ago I was fighting the end of Summer, and now I'm rushing head first into Fall. I think I'm going to fill my closet with cozy sweater and more flip flops for as long as I can.


September 23, 2013

Happy Fall, Y'all!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am just a bit excited about Fall. I love the cold mornings, colorful trees, warm sunshine, apple picking and of course all the pumpkin flavored everything! McDonald's now has a pumpkin latte that is SOOOOO good!!!! You have to try it. Anyway! The kids have been doing crafts so I can decorate the house. I go to the dollar store and buy cheap things so it's easy and affordable. The kids love the Fall. Lex likes that he can wear his Creeper hoodie and not be hot. Lo loves her footsie pajamas and cuddling. One of the downfalls is that my poor old dogs have a hard time walking when it's cold. Chewy has degenerative disc disease  and both dogs arthritis. So the cold is tough on them. I have upped their glucosamine to daily instead of weekly. Gotta get a jump start on that before my poor dogs can't walk. :( Other than that we are ready for Fall and looking forward to all the fun activities, without the sweat. ;)


September 19, 2013

School Drop Off.....

I like to take advantage of the nice weather and walk my kids to school. And by walk I mean drive to the school, park down the street and walk them the rest of the way, which is totally not allowed because they are tearing down half of the school to build a new one and there is no parking, which means no parking on the street either. Whatever. Try and stop me! Anyway, so we have our morning routine, I drive, we get out and walk, we chat, hold hands, talk about how good they are going to be (Lo!!), and every morning my son insists on me standing at his classroom window and dance for him. Yes, yes he does. And yes, yes I do. Every. Morning. He thinks it's hilarious, I think I'm going to get arrested one day. I do these silly things for them because one day they won't want me doing things like this, they will think I'm "embarrassing" or "stupid", so am taking full advantage of it now before I lose them when they're "too cool" to be seen with Mom. :D