School Drop Off.....

I like to take advantage of the nice weather and walk my kids to school. And by walk I mean drive to the school, park down the street and walk them the rest of the way, which is totally not allowed because they are tearing down half of the school to build a new one and there is no parking, which means no parking on the street either. Whatever. Try and stop me! Anyway, so we have our morning routine, I drive, we get out and walk, we chat, hold hands, talk about how good they are going to be (Lo!!), and every morning my son insists on me standing at his classroom window and dance for him. Yes, yes he does. And yes, yes I do. Every. Morning. He thinks it's hilarious, I think I'm going to get arrested one day. I do these silly things for them because one day they won't want me doing things like this, they will think I'm "embarrassing" or "stupid", so am taking full advantage of it now before I lose them when they're "too cool" to be seen with Mom. :D

Me~

Someone Kidnapped My Maid!!!

My house is a freakin' mess!!!! I'm not talking about your run of the mill "I have 3 kids" mess, I'm talkin' I may need Kim and Aggie to come in and straighten my ass out mess. Look, I'm in a rut. I work a lot, I'm worried about money and spiders trying to kill me. When I do have a free minute to actually get something done, well, I kind of just want to sit quietly and pretend that there is no mess. Or I want to just hang with my kids. I don't get to do that very often anymore, so I grab the chances when I can. Wanna know how out of control it's gotten? While putting Lex and Lo down for bedtime (we all lay on the couch together till they fall asleep then I put them in their beds. Hey! It works!!!!) I fell asleep. Woke up an hour later to the sound of someone in my kitchen, sounded like cleaning, but the only other person in the house was my teenager and we ALLLL know that there is NO way she'd be cleaning. But she was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had emptied the dishwasher, filled it and actually started the dame thing, she had cleaned the counters, the stove, took out the trash and was sweeping the floor!!! I didn't even know what to say, so I just stood there staring at her, then I asked "What are you doing?!", to which she replied "Oh this? This is called cleaning! Isn't that the smartty pants reply you always give me?" Little shit, that's MY line. By the way, I may patent that, so don't steal it. She said that she knew I needed help when the place started looking like an episode of Hoarders. It wasn't that bad!! But the fact that it was bad enough for my teenager, who never cleans a damn thing, to step in and help, made me realize that I am, indeed, not Super Mom like I thought I was. Damn. So here I am, stuck with a mess and I don't know what to do with it. I have started taking baby steps in getting it all sorted out. Yesterday I cleaned the diningroom, including clearing out Lex's hoarding mess. The I swept and washed the floors. I was very impressed with myself. Today I put together the bookshelf I bought the kids, picked the books up off the floor, put them on the bookshelf and added a few nice touches like photos of the kids and a few gargoyles. Because nothing says a kid friendly area like a bunch of gargoyles sitting there staring at them. So there! I've at least started. I will be posting a picture of Lex's room tomorrow. It's, it's just bad. They went in there and destroyed that thing. I blame Lola. And the maid for not showing up when I needed her most. ;)

I Just Had An Epiphany!

Now that Kevin is no longer living at the house I can do whatever I want!!! Like.....put out a clothes line. I love hanging my clothes outside to dry, Kevin did not. He hated it. He wouldn't even listen to me when I told him how much energy and money we'd save. Nope. He wanted none of it. Well now I'm going to hang my clothes out. And if he sneaks in some of his dirty clothes (which pisses me off since his girlfriend should be doing it. WTF am I? A maid?) I will hang them outside, like it or not. HAH! Another thing I plan on doing all the time..............wearing sweatpants.....everyday.....the same pair. Who cares?! My kids just want me to wear pants, they don't care what kind of pants. I like to wear my hair in a bun on top of my head. Kevin always said I looked like the Alien Queen from Aliens. Jerk. Now do you see why we're getting a divorce? By the way, I told him about this post and he laughed and said "While you're hanging your laundry out back will you be playing the banjo and wearing a wifebeater?" (-_-) He thinks it's funny, but once I clear out that junk drawer of his and put all my tampons in there he won't me laughing. ;)

The Laws Of Teenagers And How They Can Effect You

Raven is 15 years old going on 5. Granted, this whole divorce thing has turned her world upside down and flipped around, but still......the girl is the biggest drama queen. I had actually thought of just not telling her and letting her think her Dad was abducted by aliens and is allowed to come home 2 days a week, because that is just how much I did not want to tell her. I kid, I kid. When I told her there were tears and lots of them. I talked to her and explained that it was for the best. She cried some more. I called her therapist and asked if we could go back to every week instead of every two weeks just to help her through this. So far so good. Now, since this happened she has said that she doesn't want to be home with us, she doesn't want to talk to us and just wants to be left alone. Now, I let this slide for a few weeks because I didn't want to stress her out and have her lose more hair. But after her not being home for almost 2 weeks and only coming and going for money, food and clothes, I had had enough. I talked to her and said that this is our life now and she has got to learn to deal with it. Boy did she hate me. She was pissed!! But, I held strong and didn't back down. What came next surprised even me! She had a list of things I am not allowed to do. Here it is.....

• I'm not allowed to date. Ever. Forget ever getting married again because that would ruin her life all over again.
• I'm not allowed to go out. Ever again. God forbid if a man sees me all dressed up and looking good.
• I'm not allowed to look good. I need to cover up and stop wearing makeup.
• I can't have a night job. (I'm pretty sure she has an idea that I used to dance and is horrified that I may go back)
• I can't turn into one of "those crazy pet hoarders because I'm lonely". (Seriously, kid? WTF?)

That last one is my favorite. HAH! Because I would totally hoard myself some chihuahuas. Look, I get it. She's a teenage girl going through a lot of shit. I get it! Doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I love that she's fine and happy until I tell her she can't dye her hair pink, or I won't let her pierce her face again or she has to spend time with the family at the beach. Funny thing about making her spend time with us is, she always has a good time. Always!! I think it's important to force your teenager to do something horrifying like spend time with their family or have family movie night. It's good for them!! She's lucky I don't make her play Twister with us.

As far as her list of "Things My Mother Is Not Allowed To Do", I just said "Yes, dear. Don't worry. Mommy will have no life at all" and I really don't plan on dating or getting married anytime soon either. Unless of course Michael Fassbender comes along and wants me, then I'm all over that!! ;)

How We Single Handedly Almost Ruined Christmas AND Created A Real Life Grinch

For weeks my son has been talking about Christmas, Santa and the party at my Sister's house. We took him to see Santa at the mall and he got to tell Santa everything he wanted on his list........the conversation took almost 10 minutes. Then at his school's Christmas party Santa showed up and Lex was again able to tell him what he wanted. So imagine how excited he was when it was Christmas Eve and we were on our way to my Sister's house for her annual Christmas Eve party. We ate, we played, we had fun and ate some more. Lex was in high spirits and just could not wait to open his presents. Finally my Sister told him to go find his gifts under the tree and get ready to open them. He was ecstatic!!! He found 3 and looked a bit bewildered. I heard him say "Where are the rest?", but thought nothing of it. Then he began opening his gifts. The presents he got were not what he wanted, what he had on his list. They we things my Sister had bought for him, little things. A coloring book, a Monchhichi and some SpongeBob bath bubbles. That's when it happened......Lex had a complete meltdown. All he kept saying was....'None of this stuff was on my list. Where's my science kit?" O_O Of course he's asking for the one thing we didn't get him. We tried explaining to him that Santa would be at our house soon, after he was asleep and when he woke up there would be presents. He said "All I really want is a science kit! This is a terrible Christmas!!" and he cried. What on Earth were we supposed to do?!?!?! Not only wasn't he understanding what we were saying, that it wasn't even Christmas yet, but we didn't get him a science kit!!!! Kevin and I decided to leave right then and there to make it to the book store to get that damn science kit he wanted so badly and to get him away from his cousins who were all opening a ton of gifts. He seemed to be doing a little better once we left, Kevin was able to get that damn science kit and we got home early enough so Kevin could get the wrapping done. While Kevin was in the basement I asked Lex if he wanted to put the reindeer food out with me. "Sure" was his response and he didn't look happy at all. I gave him the plate and told him to scatter it on the ground.....he just tossed it on the ground and walked back inside looking like someone had just kicked his kitten. While I was getting things ready for bedtime I noticed he had taken my decorated wine box and was filling it with small toys. After it was filled he came to me and asked if he could have a bow. I gave him one and watched as he put the bow on, placed the box under the tree and then said "There. Now I have a presents under the tree." and he started crying again, then he looked out the widow and said "This is just the terrible Christmas ever. Santa didn't bring anything on my list". I have never seen something as pathetic and as cute as that in my entire life. He thought Santa had forgotten him, or that he brought him the wrong toys. It was just awful. Kevin and I decided to give all the kids something small before bed in hopes that it would cheer him up a little. We explained that on Christmas Eve the children get to open a gift from their Moms and Dads. So we gave Lola her Pillow Pet (which was obviously the best present ever!), Raven her pjs and Lex his little delorean with a mini Marty McFly in it. He loved it! He went to bed with a smile on his face and saying he loved us.

I was not ok though. I thought for sure that we had somehow traumatized our son, turned him into a real life Grinch. He would never forget "The most terrible Christmas ever". We didn't do a good enough job of explaining the whole Santa thing. All night I kept asking my husband..."Do you think he's going to be happy?!", he thought I was worrying for nothing. And he was right. Christmas morning was great! He was so surprised with all his gifts under the tree, he kept saying "Santa DID come!!! He left lots of presents!! I hope he brought my list!!!" :) Now, I know there will be some people who read this and think to themselves that our kid is spoiled, Christmas isn't about presents, we shouldn't lie to him about Santa.....shut up. He is only 4 and just doesn't get it yet. Next year will be different. How do I know? I've done this before, Raven was the same way. She didn't really "get it" until she was 5, then it was all good. We teach our kids that Christmas is about family, love, being together and yes, Santa. Santa comes to your house and leaves you presents on Christmas Eve. It's magical, it's wonderful and I think it is very important to keep the magic in their lives as long as we can. They grow up so fast and I want them to remember their childhood as fun and, well, magical. :) I love the word MAGICAL!!!!

So that was our almost "Terrible Christmas Ever", but we made it through and our kids were thankful and very, very happy about the things they got. And so was Mommy.....that's a post for tomorrow. So many gorgeous pictures to show off from all my new camera toys!! :D

What We've Been Doing All Summer......

Playing........

Having fun.....

Smiling.......

Meeting Henry The Octopus.......

And refusing to leave Henry!!!......

As you can see, there are no pictures of our teenager. She's too cool to hang with her family at Six Flags.

The Strange Things My Son Says

He is notorious for saying the weirdest things and requesting strange items, but this takes the cake!

LEX: "Mom. Call Dad and tell him to bring me home some Russian dolls and a gay piano"

ME: "What? a what piano?"

LEX: "A gay piano. A GAY piano"

ME: What's a gay piano?"

LEX: "The kind of piano you play"

ME: "Ok, Lex, fine"

I have no idea what he was talking about, I know he didn't mean "gay" but where on earth did he hear that?! I wonder what he thought he was saying? Please, feel free to chime in here!!

Word(full) Wednesday.....

This little girl is the sweetest thing.......


This teenager is the funniest kid........


And this little boy will steal your heart.......


Then there are days like this:

This little girl can be so goofy.....


This teenager can be such a pain.......


And this little boy can be extremely tiring.......


But for the most part they make me laugh, so I can forgive almost anything. Even throwing pee on one of their siblings. :)

The MOST Embarrassing Mommy Moment Ever!

I am the Mommy of 3 wonderful children. Raven is 14, Lex will be 4 soon and Lola will be 2 in June. But to say that parenting has been a "pleasure" this entire time would not be the entire truth. I was a single Mother with Raven, so I took her every where with me.......even the public restrooms. This is where I learned that you can not control life. Things will just happen. When she was almost 3 I took her to the mall to buy some new clothes. Nothing new, she went with me every where! I don't know what happened on this trip that changed her, but something happened. I remember that we were at the shoe store, I believe it was BAKER'S, when she said she had to pee. No biggie! We were in full force potty training and I was used to the frequent bathroom trips. While I was helping her potty I realized that I had to go, too. So when she was done I said to her...."Raven, I have to use the bathroom, too. So please just stand there while I go." This was nothing new to us. We had done this a million other times and she was such a good girl!!! This time, not so much. She started talking about things that made me blush!! There were other people in there and she was talking about "the color of my undies, the way my pee sounded, why I was hovering over the toilet and not sitting on it, why my butt looked SOOO BIG, why did my pee stink so bad, and why was my butt bleeding?!?!?!?!" Oh my f'ing gawd I wanted to die. I could hear the other women laughing. It was horrible! That's the day I truly became a MOMMY!

Fast forward 11 or so years. Now, I KNOW that it's coming......the inappropriate bathroom talk. But nothing can prepare you for it. Just yesterday I took my darling son to Chuck-E-Cheese's while my teenager got her hair done. Of course while we were there he had to use the bathroom! I went with him, helped him out, but then the sight of him urinating made me had to go, too. I looked at him and said...."Lex, Mommy really needs to use the bathroom, too. Can you please come with me and wait while I go?" He, of course, is more than willing to do ask I asked him to do. While I'm doing my business he's standing there staring at me, which I'm used to, but then he moves to the rear of me and is staring at my behind! I said..."Uhm, Lex, what are you doing? Please come stand by the door." which he replies as loudly as he can "WOW!! Mommy!! Your BUTT is peeing!!! But don't worry, there is no poop or blood coming out of your butt. Just pee!!!" -_- Oh joy!! Did I mention that it's school vacation here and the place was packed?!? Honestly though, it didn't bother me as much as it did the first time Mom washing her and her little girl's hands. HAH! The look was priceless! I just kept thinking......"You just wait. Your daughter is only 2. Wait till she's 3 and she's not only purposely testing you but she's also talking about your vagina in public. I just smiled and said....."Kids! They really do say the craziest things!!" We washed our hands and left Chuck-E-Cheese and I was never happier.

I know there are more embarrassing things to come and I'm ready for them! My husband? Not so much. :) He'll survive though. Just look at me, I survived. And believe me when I say that my teenager said some pretty crazy things when she was little.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Fresh Air!!

Today I took the advice of my virtual friend, Carlie, and I took my kids outside for a bit. It was cold, 20 degrees, but we did it anyways! It took me 20 minutes to get the kids all bundled up, but that was ok!! We took the dogs out, I let Lex herd them around for a little while, then I put them back inside and came back out till their tiny noses turned pink! It felt really nice. I'm probably going to do that every morning, if possible. I hate the cold, but my kids are so calm now, I was actually able to shower while they played quietly and not one incident!! I don't wanna push my luck though. LOL!!

I am so ready for Spring. I want to open my windows, go outside barefoot, take the kids on long walks to the parks and cookout!! I'm done with Winter, but unfortunately it is not done with us. More snow coming tomorrow night. ((sigh) So I figured I better get them out while I can. This is what's happening to my child due to lack of sunshine and fresh air......



HAH! Ok, so maybe she's just doing it to make us smile, either way, very funny and very cute. :)

Day #15 Of Early Intervention

Bye-bye "car"!! Lola's walker is no more. Paula thought she was too advanced for it and thinks she'll be more encouraged to just walk without it. So far Lo hasn't noticed that it's gone and I don't think she will. I hope. :) We have now moved to every 2 weeks of Early Intervention and last week was Paula's last day with us. BOOOO!!! Although we will miss her we're excited that she is moving on to bigger and better things. Good luck, Paula!! Our new therapist's name is Patty, another "P". She'll be coming next week to talk about things we can do to encourage Lola to walk. I'm thinking she's just going to do it when she feels like doing it. That's my Lo!

Now.....about last weeks session. ((sigh)) Lola was horrible. Just plain rotten! She screamed if we tried to make her do something, she screamed if I tried to put her down and she screamed just to be screaming. Unbelievable!  She refused to cooperate one bit. Poor Paula. I told her not to take it personally, Lola had just had a very tough week. She had been sick with a double ear infection and I had to take her to the doctor's office TWICE and then she had her laser treatment on top of everything else. She she was tired of people touching her. So it was an "o.k." session. Paula wants me to try helping her walk up the stairs holding one of her hands and having her use her other hand to brace against the wall while walking up. She hates it. -_- She just wants to crawl up the stairs and doesn't want me to help at all. I'm just going to let her go at her own pace and see what happens. We've already paid for the next 6 months of Early Intervention, so I'm going to let her take 3 weeks off and just forget about trying to "make" her walk and see what happens. Fingers crossed!!

Kids Are Very Bad For Your Self Esteem!

As you all know kids say whatever is on their minds and then some! I've known this for a very long time, almost 14 to years to be precise. My daughter was only 2 days old when she looked at me and then puked right in my face. She had to be telling me something, right?! I'm so ugly, I made her sick!! Then came the years when she was just starting to talk and she'd look at me and say "Ew!" or "Gross!". Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Then came the years when she could really talk. That's when the real fun began. She would always comment on my grey streak and say....."Your hair looks like a witch's hair, Mommy!!!" or "PHEW! Your breath stinks!" and my favorite......"You have a BIG butt!!!". -_- I never held that against her because she would say more nice things than mean things, but still, they stung just a tiny bit!!! A real tiny bit. ;)

My husband is new to the whole "kids say mean things but don't really mean it" game. He's way more sensitive than I am and takes things much harder. Poor guy has been on vacation for a week and the kids keep saying mean things to him. They're not trying to be mean, they're just kids! Christmas Eve I gave him a new pair of jeans and when he tried them on our teenager said..."You got a flat butt!! But I don't mean that in a mean way! At least it's not fat!" O_O Our son, who is only 3 1/2, is the most brutal! All week he's said things to him that have kinda smarted but have been really funny. Kevin tried to take a shower with Lex to save time and Lex said....."Ew! Gross! You're gross, Daddy!! Get out!!!". Then yesterday Lex had to use the potty but Kevin was in there getting ready, so I just sent him in. Apparently Kevin only had on boxer shorts and Lex said..."Gross, Daddy! Put some clothes on!! Your legs are hairy!! You need to shave them!!" HAH!!!!!! So all week Kevin has been taking a beating from the kids, all except Lola, she can't talk yet. And again just an hour ago in the kitchen Lex got down right mean again!! A tube of chapstick fell on the floor and Lex picked it up, looked at Kevin and said..."Here, Dad. You need this. Your lips are old and wrinkly!" -_- Kevin just looked at me and said..."Well, this has been a great vacation." I couldn't help but laugh, but that's because I know that they don't mean it!!! They're still kids. You can't let it get to you or it will destroy a little bit of your self esteem. That's why I take really embarrassing pictures of my kids. Payback when they're older. ;)

I Can't Believe I Just Said That!

Things I've had to say to my son just this morning alone......

"Lex, please stop trying to fart in the tub, you might poop instead."
"No, Lola does no want you to pick her nose."
"Stop trying to stick that up Lola's nose NOW!"
"Put down the tampon please."
"Lex, you can and you will walk...no, your feet aren't broken."
"Lex, Mommy does not want you feeding Chewy's but.....cause it's not hungry and it's not ok!"
"My gawd, boy!!! How many times do I have to tell you NOT to chase Chewy with your butt!"
"Stop trying to force feed that ball your sister!!"
"Lex, Mommy does not want you to put your face in her butt"

The list goes on and on......he's a handful and a half this morning, to say the least. I'm completely exhausted. x_x He's lucky he's so damn cute....



Lola, on the other hand has been an Angel!! She slept all night until 8:30 and is napping right now!!! We're very lucky she's so good, I don't think we could handle another child as busy as Lex. BLAH!!!!!!!