The Future

Lately Bf has been talking about getting married. We've talked about it before, but nothing serious. Mostly about how we didn't want to get married because both of us didn't have happy first marriages. After getting divorced we were both sorta like "I am NEVER doing THAT again!", but it's been almost three years that we've been together and we're seeing that things are so much different with us. Our relationship is nothing like what mine or his marriage was like. Nothing! We're different. Better. Not saying anything bad about my ex, it's just the way it is. I'm sure he feels the same ways about his current relationship. :)

To be honest, I swore I'd never ever get married again, but now I think I may be changing my mind. Todd hasn't convinced me 100% just yet, but he's wining me over. I am now seeing what a good, stable, relationship is like. He says all the time that he's more married now than he ever was before. Melts my heart. :) He also pointed out that if we got married it would solve the whole last name problem I'm dealing with now, I could have his name. I'm in the process of figuring out what I want to do with my last name. I don't want to keep my ex's name, because well, he's my ex and I don't want it. But my maiden name is not even my real father's last name, so why go back to it? So yeah, we could get married and I take his last name. We'll see. :)

Me~

Life......Not Always The "Ideal Situation"

Tomorrow is "D" Day and I should be sleeping, but instead I thought I'd blog, get it all out so to speak. When some people ask me about the divorce and I answer honestly, they're surprised. Surprised that I have already moved on and I am actually looking forward to the divorce. What most people don't know, and I haven't even shared here, is that my soon to be ex husband was a cheater. Not just once, but many times over. When someone does that to you after promising you forever, then it is unforgivable. I stayed so long for a few reason, but one of the reasons being that I refused to "give up". "Till death do us part" and all that jazz. Then, last year, I realized that I would one day die, and I did not want to die thinking that I could have been with someone who was faithful, who did love me more than life itself, and also, I didn't want my children growing up seeing it. So I made the choice to move on. It wasn't easy, but life is never easy, is it? So tomorrow we make it final, and I am happy about it. I won't apologize to anyone for being happy to no longer be married to someone who obviously didn't love me enough to be faithful. It saddens me that it didn't work out, but we will be ok. Me, my ex and the kids. We've found a way to be a family apart, and everyone is happy. My ex has moved on and is dating someone, and so am I. We're both happy. I am not just happy, I'm actually falling in love. Scary, yet beautiful. He was a friend first, and I think that's why it was so easy. He's also so good with my kids. They love him already. I can't blame them. :)

So even though tomorrow should be a difficult/sad day, it won't be. It will be the end of one part of my life and the beginning of another. I am excited. :)

Me~