October 27, 2010

Don't Be "THAT" Mom

Being the Mom of a teenager means I see a whooooole lotta drama! Every day my daughter is mad at this girl or that girl or that guy or that guy's's never ending. I do what every Mom should do.....I stay out of it! Unfortunately, not all Moms and Dads think the same way I do and can't help but get in the middle of said drama. Just the other day there was an incident on Facebook with a Mom calling one of my daughter's friend a "bitch". Yes, a grown woman called a 14 year old girl a "bitch". I just could not believe it. My first thought was to comment, but I knew that would just make it worse. There are people I like to call "Keyboard Warriors". They feel brave sitting behind their computer screen and type out nasty comments without thinking twice, but when it comes to the real world, they would probably never say half of the things they write on the internet. So commenting back would be childish. I did the next best thing, I told the girl to tell her Mother what was going on. She did and it's being worked out. Hopefully without violence.

This whole thing made me think of the story from a few years ago when a Mom got involved in some drama and the teenager, Megan Meier,  killed herself because of it. That is just one of many, many stories of teens killing themselves because of bullying. It's hard enough for them going through high school, puberty, relationships and so much more, do we parents have to add to it?! I am in no way saying stay out of it, I'm saying be diligent, talk with your kids, don't add to the drama. I've included some links to some very helpful websites that talk about bullying and how to deal with it.
I am currently trying to teach my daughter that lashing out, even with hurtful words, is just not ok. Dealing with your emotions can be hard, but taking a step back, breathing and thinking about what you say or do before you do it, can save a lot of trouble and heartache. Life is hard, but we have to learn to deal with it as best we can. If there was one thing I could say to my daughter about crappy things that happen in life, it would be this......"Nothing last forever, not pain, not humiliation.....nothing! It does get better." One Mom wrote a letter to her daughter on her blog and she took the words right out of my mouth....

Vicky Bell's Blog: Letter To My Daughter (in wake of senseless tragedy)

Well written and so very true. :) It's our job as parents to try and teach our kids right from wrong, to guide them through the good times and the bad and to be there when they needs us. Unfortunately we can only do so much, the rest is up to them.

3 thoughts:

Carlie said...

wow. I haven't even thought about this stuff much. I'm at the stage where I'm trying to teach my kids to express their frustration WITH words, not by hitting somebody over the head with the Lego box. Never thought about the fact that at some point expressing with words can get to be inappropriate and you have to teach your kids a whole new set of skills. Good thoughts.

Mom, Wife, Nina said...

That's exactly what Kevin and I were talking about......we taught her to use her words, and well, now she's using her words! -_- Just not very nice words. ((sigh)) We're getting there. Lots of threatening to take her FB away, her computer privileges and so on. Just because you're not fighting, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt someone else. I actually had to put it to her like this....

"Raven, what if, because of the things you said to this girl, she goes home and hangs herself? What then?"

She kind of got it then, still angry at the girl, but promised to do the 'ol "If you ain't got notin' nice to say, don't say anything at all!" -fingerscrossed-

Bonnie Heather said...

Way to be the bigger person. Yes, I definitely do not look forward to dealing with teenage drama when Asia grows up.

P.S. This is @asiababymama from twitter. I'm finally following your blog, yay!