September 3, 2013
And The Panic Begins........
I hate sending my kids to school. I hate it. I can't tell them that though. I try to put a smile on my face, send them off to school with a big hug and a kiss and lots of "I love you!!"s. The truth is, I'm a wreck being away from them. I worry constantly, I have mini panic attacks and I cry. Yes, I cry. It's sad, really, and totally not normal. I talked to my boyfriend about this and we both agree that I can't go on like this. This is only the first week of school!! And no, I don't think it will get better. Every day they are in school I drive by there at least three times. The reality is that they have to go to school. I have to work. But I hate it. I'm sitting here breaking out in hives just thinking about it. I'm going to have to go back on anti-anxiety meds. I thought I was past that, but no, I am no. :( I have thought that maybe a diet change would help, but how they Hell do I stop using sugar or wheat?? My friend Carly over at Twinkling Along has done just that and says her moods are better, she's slimmer and happier. For now, I'll take the drugs and slowly work on my diet. ((sigh)) Wish me luck. I'm off to run some errands and drive by my kids' school a few times. :(