Don't Be "THAT" Mom

Being the Mom of a teenager means I see a whooooole lotta drama! Every day my daughter is mad at this girl or that girl or that guy or that guy's cousin......it's never ending. I do what every Mom should do.....I stay out of it! Unfortunately, not all Moms and Dads think the same way I do and can't help but get in the middle of said drama. Just the other day there was an incident on Facebook with a Mom calling one of my daughter's friend a "bitch". Yes, a grown woman called a 14 year old girl a "bitch". I just could not believe it. My first thought was to comment, but I knew that would just make it worse. There are people I like to call "Keyboard Warriors". They feel brave sitting behind their computer screen and type out nasty comments without thinking twice, but when it comes to the real world, they would probably never say half of the things they write on the internet. So commenting back would be childish. I did the next best thing, I told the girl to tell her Mother what was going on. She did and it's being worked out. Hopefully without violence.

This whole thing made me think of the story from a few years ago when a Mom got involved in some drama and the teenager, Megan Meier,  killed herself because of it. That is just one of many, many stories of teens killing themselves because of bullying. It's hard enough for them going through high school, puberty, relationships and so much more, do we parents have to add to it?! I am in no way saying stay out of it, I'm saying be diligent, talk with your kids, don't add to the drama. I've included some links to some very helpful websites that talk about bullying and how to deal with it.

• Dealing With Bullying
• Teens Against Bullying
• Helping Kids Deal With Bullies

I am currently trying to teach my daughter that lashing out, even with hurtful words, is just not ok. Dealing with your emotions can be hard, but taking a step back, breathing and thinking about what you say or do before you do it, can save a lot of trouble and heartache. Life is hard, but we have to learn to deal with it as best we can. If there was one thing I could say to my daughter about crappy things that happen in life, it would be this......"Nothing last forever, not pain, not humiliation.....nothing! It does get better." One Mom wrote a letter to her daughter on her blog and she took the words right out of my mouth....

Vicky Bell's Blog: Letter To My Daughter (in wake of senseless tragedy)

Well written and so very true. :) It's our job as parents to try and teach our kids right from wrong, to guide them through the good times and the bad and to be there when they needs us. Unfortunately we can only do so much, the rest is up to them.

Once There Was A Princess....

And her name was Lola......

She was quiet, sweet and just adorable....

She grew up faster than her adoring parents wanted her to....

And became sweeter and happier than ever.....

And then one day the little Princess grew into a sweet little girl adored by many.....

But what most people didn't know, was that the Princess had a dark side.....

The Princess was TWO!....

And wasn't always the happy, sweet little Princess everyone believed her to be......

In fact, some days she was just miserable for no reason at all!!!.......

This would sometimes wear on Mommy, but that didn't stop her from loving the little Princess one bit....

Teenagers Do NOT = Help

I can't tell you how many times someone has said to me...."Oh, you have a teenager? She must be loads of help!" I only stand there and try not to laugh hysterically in their face. Just because there is someone above the age of preschooler does not mean they are capable, willing or able to help. When my son was born my oldest daughter was 10 years old. And yes, she was helpful. She was also still cleaning her room without me asking, too. All that ended when she turned 12. I don't know what happened, maybe it was her starting her period, maybe it was her being influenced by her friends, or maybe evil aliens came down, kidnapped my sweet little girl and replaced her with the demon teenager that resides here now. Who knows!! One thing I do know is this......I am not alone. Every parent I talk to that has a teenager says the same thing...."Oh my gawd! My kid is the same way!! I want to strangle him/her" Boys are no different than girls, either. So, Moms of all boys, don't get your hopes up. :D heheheee!!

Don't get me wrong, Raven is really helpful at times, but, I have to talk to her like she's 5 and write everything out for her to actually see/read and check off as she goes. And the entire time all I hear is "UGHH!!! Mumble, mumble, mumble. Moan and groan!!!" -insertstompinghere- It's a constant battle. Babysitting? Forget it!! She will babysit, but everything has to be done for her a head of time and Lo has to be sleeping when we leave. Last night she watched both kids for an hour and I swear I will never hear the end of it..."See, Mom?! I can babysit Lex without killing him! You owe me a new piercing" -_-  And on and on. So she does help, but sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth. I really can't complain though. She does well in school, she's not doing drugs or drinking, she only mouths off occasionally and she still acts like she loves us.....sometimes.

So if you're sitting there staring at your darling little child and thinking to yourself..."HAH! She's nuts. My kid will never be like that. Ever!" I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. Don't take it personally.

I Love My Dogs And My Cat, BUT.....

I'm at my wits end with the damn fleas!!! I am seriously thinking about shaving all my animals and making them wear cute little sweaters until flea season is over. BAH! I work at a pet supply store, so I know how bad this season was. It was bad. Hell, it still is! We haven't been able to keep the flea sprays, bathes and collars on the shelves. Every week we get an order in and within 4 days it's all gone. Fleas suck. I am fed up with the bathing, the washing, the spraying the vacuuming and the combing. It's tiresome. And anyone who knows me, knows I run a tight ship! My house is clean. It may be messy, but it is clean. So when I'm laying on the couch rubbing my dog's belly and happen to notice 2 fleas on him, I kinda get pissed off. It's been a long day (been up since 6am), I am not staying up to bathe my dogs, and it wouldn't matter since I can't change my sheets since someone is sleeping on them already. So I ignore it. It will have to wait till tomorrow. I will get up, rip the sheets off (probably with lots of swearing involved), do my usual morning routine, get my boy off to school, go grocery shopping, pick my teenager's dress up from the shop, grab her the shoes she just has to have, come home, get Lo situated with a movie or something, then I will kill every damn flea in this house. I will spray, I will wash, I will comb, I will vacuum and I will be swearing the entire time!!!! BECAUSE I HATE FLEAS!!!! ((sigh)) There. I feel a little better now. Bedtime. I need my rest, for the war begins tomorrow. I will prevail.

Loving The 4's, Surviving the 2's and Clawing my way through the Teens

If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would have 3 kids so different in ages I would have laughed in their faces. But here I am, the Mom of the "3 Extremes". A teenager in full hormonal swing, a 4 year old who is now a pre-schooler and tries to be Mr. Helpful, and then there's my Lo. She's 2. Nuff said. I have to admit, 4 is my favorite age. I love the 4s!! They're all helpful, kind, sweet, loving and just plain fun. Lex is into pretend play, watching movies with us, arts and crafts, he listens very well and is just so loving. So yeah...I love me some 4s!!! It's not that I don't love the various ages, each one has a little somein' special to offer. For example...Lo is 2. She's so sweet, but then she can turn on you like a a rabid dog! So she brings excitement! You never know what's gonna happen next and you're always on guard. Then there's Raven. My teenager. Some days it feels like there's a ticking time bomb walking around here. "Is she in a good mood or in a really horrible mood?" or "Should I even approach her?! Do I dare?!?!" That is what living with a teenager is like. More ups and downs than a roller coaster. But then you learn to read minds, one of the perks of living with a teenager. I can read her mind like no one's business. I know when to approach, when to stay away and when I'm allowed to give her a hug. WIN!

Most days I feel so exhausted from being pulled in so many different directions. I have to remember to not treat Raven like a child, I have to remember that the other 2 are still children and not to expect too much from them. Then I have to remember that, yes, Raven is still my child and not to expect too much from her either, even though she thinks she's grown. WHEW!!! So much to remember. Then throw in appointments, homework, dinner planning, work, cleaning, showers, breathing........I'm surprised I'm still standing. Some days I don't even get into bed before 10 because I'm so damn busy. But I manage, somehow. And most days I'm showered and smiling. Can't beat that! But I swear to GAWD if my husband talks about having "just one more" I will lose it completely.

Am I The ONLY One Who Was Warned About Motherhood?!

I'm a Mommy blogger lover. I search the web for all kinds of Mommy blogs. I can't help myself, they're addicting. Some can be better than books. Just recently I have seen a few post on various blogs about Motherhood and why no one warned them about what was to come. Sleepless nights, not showering, not having time to yourself and so on and so on. I was astonished!!! No one told these women? No one warned them? They didn't already know what was going to happen?!?! I just could not believe this. Maybe I have more honest friends and family than these women. Or maybe I tore off my rose colored glasses as soon as I saw those two lines. Or maybe it was because I was a babysitter throughout my teen years and I've seen children at their best and most certainly at their worst! Either way.....I knew what was coming.

When I got pregnant with my oldest I was only 21. Found out the Father was not someone I wanted in my life and promptly kicked him to the curb. I was going to be a single Mom. Reality sunk in that I was going to be doing this all alone. No help. And I was fine with that. I didn't sit there and think of all the horrible things that were to come, I didn't want to do that, so I focused on the positive. I worked 2 jobs trying to save up enough money so I could take 2 months off after Raven was born. Every now and then I would forget that my future would be filled with sleepless nights and one day I made a very stupid comment to my sister. I was exhausted from working so much and said to her "I can't wait for this baby to be born so I can get some rest. All this work is killing me!" My sister laughed and laughed and laughed some more. That's when I realized my mistake. I would never sleep again. -_- And that is pretty much the truth. Raven still has night terrors and she's 14!! x_x <----Me.

So when people tell me that "no one warned them that Motherhood would be so tough", I just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh some more. I'm the total opposite of most women, when I see a Mom about to have a baby, I'm  honest. I tell her about the "Three P's", puke, pee and poo. They will all get her at some point. I tell her that she probably won't shower much. I tell her that is is the hardest thing she will probably ever do. I warn her about the sleepless nights and the horrible teething that will make her want to rip her uterus and womb right out of her own body for fear she'd ever have another baby. But then I tell her that, just like labor, you forget about all the bad stuff the minute your baby looks at you and smiles. Because one thing they all had right was this.......it is worth every bit of it. Being a Mother is the most rewarding job.

The Recall That Broke The Camel's Back

I am tired, sick and tired of all these recalls. First it's cribs, then it's medicine and now it's formula. Is there anything that is safe out there nowadays for our kids? None of my kids are formula fed, they're past that phase, thank goodness! But there was a time when I supplemented with formula, or straight out formula fed each of my kids. This really bothers me. These are our babies!! There should be higher standards in the making of anything that goes into their tiny bodies. I shudder to think of all the little ones out there right now suffering from belly aches and pains because they were fed formula with insect  bits in it. Just disgusting. If I ever were to have another baby, how could I trust these companies? I would be terrified!! I'm a breastfeeding Mommy. I breastfed each of my littles until they stopped, or I stopped or both. But now, I'd breastfeed the next one till he or she was 1!! I am losing total faith in any company that is making products that goes into my children's mouths. I have a teething 2 year old right now, but I refuse to give her anything unless it's all natural. I can't do chemicals anymore. It's not the worth the risk, and that's sad that I feel this way.

Another issue.......I have wasted so much money on medicine because I had to throw it out. I had some of the products that were on the recall list, some of which I had already used!! You can only imagine how that made me feel. Angry, scared, utterly disappointed in the company. I take my children's health very seriously. I don't just dose up every time one of my kids sneezes. But I'd like to have the option of giving them medicine if need be!! For now, we have the generic in our fridge, just in case. I hope that something is done to enforce stricter guidelines when it comes to making anything that goes into our children's bodies. So far, they are failing. Miserably. Shame on them.

Dreading The Long Winter Months

Just the thought of having to put on more clothes, shoveling snow, driving in the snow and being cooped up all Winter long is giving me hives. I'm trying not to think about it. I've been keeping busy with work, kids, school, the house and other things. Thankfully my husband knows all kinds of ways to keep the kids busy with useless toys.......

I kid!!!! I kid!!!! That last one isn't ours, but I would love to have one. Could come in real handy when the kids are losing their minds from being stuck indoors for days on end. He buys things all the time so there is always something to do. I should be grateful that he's able to keep them busy, but we are running out of room!!! We need a bigger house. I've been looking almost every week in hopes that one catches my eye, but nothing yet. ((sigh)) 'll have to deal with the toys taking over my house.

Contrary To Popular Belief, I Do NOT LIke Being Called A MILF.....

I was only 21 when I gave birth to my oldest, who is almost 15, you do the math. When she started Kindergarten all of her little friends would say..."Raven, your Mom is so nice." Then came elementary school and he friends would say, "Raven your Mom is cool!!" Then came middle school. Everything changed. Once it was everyone had the same opinion, now the opinions differ between the boys and the girls. The girls: "Raven, your Mom is scary. Pretty, but scary!".....the boys: "Raven your Mom is HOT!!! Tell her I said I." -_- There is one boy who kinda takes it a little too far and Raven always has to shut him down. One of his favorite comments is "Hey, Raven...can't wait till you grow up and look like your Mom. So HOT!!" That's when she gets a bit upset and has to tell him to shut his dirty mouth. She hates it. She thinks it's gross and wishes I'd wear a burlap bag and no makeup. LOL!! It's just not "cool" when you're a teenager, you know? I feel the same way. Just knowing that little 12-14 year old boys are checking me out makes my stomach hurt. I joined a parent group that meets twice a month at the high school to talk about issues the kids are having, organize tutoring help and other boring parent things. When I told Raven about it, she asked me to not wear makeup when I go to these meetings, you know, just in case I run into some of her friends. -_- My husband thinks it's great that I'm considered a "MILF". Me, not so much. It's creepy!!!!! Little boys lookin' at you, thinking nasty thoughts. UGH! Now.....when she goes to college, that's a different story!
 

ALMOST Wordless Wednesday......

What's wrong with this picture?.......

Good Bye Summer.....I will Miss You Terribly

With the beginning of the new school year, marks the end of Summer. I'm so very sad to see you leave. I'll my my favorite flip flops.......

I will miss watching my children running around outside in the sunshine......

I will miss watching them play in the dirt until they're covered in mud.......

We will miss the playgrounds and swinging till they're squealing with delight.....

And I'll miss this.......

                                           

And this......

And even the dirty faces.......

 And I will most definitely miss these little creatures......

So as not to depress myself even more I'm going to make a list of everything I am looking forward to this Fall.....

• The foliage
• Not sweating so damn much
• Apple picking
• Baking
• Pumpkin
• Halloween
• Open windows
• Bulky sweaters
• And even more baking
• Thanksgiving with my family
• And of course....Christmas :)

I'm usually more enthusiastic about the Fall this time of year, but I think I'm going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming this time around. ;)

Other People's Kids.......

I've been a Mom for 14 years. I've seen a lot, I've done a lot and I've had my share of mess ups. I'm not perfect, but I am experienced and I'm still learning. And I still don't like other people's kids. So when I see other Moms making mistakes I just shake my head and look the other way. But then there are times when I have to say something. Like when that parent is too busy chatting away with other Moms at the park and not watching her kid who is shoving my kid.

Today was one of those days that started off beautifully. Got up early, made coffee and breakfast, got out the door early and we were the first in line at the school. After Lex washed his hands we proceeded to his classroom door to wait for his teacher to let us in. As we were standing there Moms were walking past with their kids, some were laughing, some were not. But one little boy stood out from the rest. Mainly because he was pulling away from his Mom, yelling at her and he just look like an angry little boy. As they walked past us Lex looked at me and said..."Mom. That boy yelled at me, too." o_O I asked him what happened and he said that they were playing and the little boy got mad at him and yelled at him. The teacher was right there, addressed the issue and made the boy understand that there is no yelling in their school. Everyone must play nice. Wonderful. But think that made me feel better?! Hell no. I was trying very hard not to lose it. The teacher took care of it. Everything was fine. But the thought of someone yelling at my sweet boy just rips me apart. I smiled at him and told him he did the right thing by not yelling back and to let the teachers know if it happens again. Kisses, hugs, see you in a bit and off he went with a smile on his face. I, on the other hand, had to force myself to walk out the door. ((DEEP BREATH))

I decide to take Lo to the park for some playtime and fresh air. It always puts me in a better mood. We get to the park and there are 4 Moms all standing in a tight circle, chatting away, sipping on their D&D's coffee and not watching their kids. This is nothing new. I see it all the time, but this morning I was all wound up and ready to smack someone. So when Lo tries to go down the slide and a little girl stands in her way and won't let her, I kinda got a little pissed off. I gently asked the girl to move so Lo could slide down. She did. Then the girl and her twin sister proceeded to go down right after Lo and ended up kicking her because Lo wasn't all the way down the slide yet. -_- Again, the Moms weren't even watching. I take Lo for a walk to calm myself down, then we go back to the park. Lo wanted to go down the big slide, so off she went. As she got to the top one of the little girls stood right in front of her and started screaming in Lo's face, then shoved her. I lost it. I walk over to the Minivan gang and in a very stern voice said..."Excuse me, would the Mother of the twins please stop yapping and parent your kids please before I lose my patience?! Thank you!" The Mom look mortified. She ran over and took the girls aside and said something to them. Yes, it felt good.

We stayed for a while longer, played, walked and just had a nice time. There was one Mom there apart from the Minivan gang who came up to me and said..."So glad someone said something. Those girls are out of control. The Mom has no clue." Then she walked off. I feel like we live in a society that is afraid to stand up and say something about someone else's child. That is wrong. We need to say something, maybe then that parent will actually parent their child instead of letting him or her run amok! Today just reminded me that I still don't like other people's kids.

Mommy Movie Moment.....

It's no secret that I'm a movie goer. Well, I go when I can, or I get them when they first come to On-Demand. I like to spread the word on movies that I've seen that I really liked or movies I think people might want to wait for the DVD. Now....forget all that "save the best for last" crap. I'm starting with my favorite...

CENTURION::
Why? I'll give you one good reason........Michael Fassbender! I think he is incredibly talented and he is fantastic in this movie! The movie is set during the war between Roman soldiers and Pict tribesmen during the 2nd century Roman conquest of Britain. Bloody as all Hell, but well shot and the story line is great! See it. :D

DATE NIGHT::
Kevin and I had wanted so badly to see this movie when it first came out, but, as all you parents know, date nights are far and few between when you have kids. So we waited for until it was out in on-demand. This movie was hilarious!!! I think Tina Fey and Steve Carell made that movie! It was funny with those two starring in it, anyone else, eh, I don't think it would have been as good. :)

DESPICABLE ME::
I took my son on a Mommy & Son date too see this and we both loved it! It was cute, sweet, funny and not too long. :) Lex laughed out loud a lot, which is a sure sign that it's a good movie. He has particular taste. ;)

DORIAN GRAY::
I was actually pleasantly surprised by how good this movie was. It was a bit long, but it was bearable because it was done so well. I love Colin Firth. He's excellent in everything he does! And I was surprised that Ben Barnes was actually pretty good. And so darn cute! ;)

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD::
This movie was excellent! Maybe it's because I love Michael Cera, or maybe it's because I like weird movies, but I just really enjoyed this one! It was funky, funny and sweet. I'm sad it didn't do better. :( We even got to meet the director, Edgar Wright, Michael Cera, Anna Kendrick and Jason Schwartzman. Here's my teenager, Raven, with them all......

 So those are the movies I've seen and I loved. I won't bog down this post with the ones I hated. It's all about the love. :)

Mommy's Obsession....

Ok. Confession time. I am a just bit obsessed with True Blood. I've read all the books and when I found out HBO was going to be making a show from the books, I was excited, to say the least. I've never missed an episode and sometimes I watch them more than once. I know, I know......pathetic. I just can't help myself! Now, my husband works for a very popular radio station in Boston and with that comes some very nice perks. One of them being meeting stars if and when they come to town. Last year I was very lucky to meet Rutina Wesley who plays Tara and Nelsan Ellis who plays LaFayette, when they came to Boston promoting the show.

That was great! I love them both. :) This year my husband called me to tell me that HBO was sending Rutina Wesley and Joe Manganiello, he's Alcide Herveaux on the show. I could not believe my luck!! I love him on True Blood!! He plays Alcide perfectly. And he is ridiculously hot. Seriously. Kevin was out of town, but he fixed it so me and a friend could be the first in line to meet them. I didn't feel to comfortable taking Lola with me into Boston to do this. I didn't to be "that Mom". You know what I'm talking about. Kevin assured me that it was fine, everyone knew I was coming and that I'd have Lola with me. EXCELLENT! I took my friend Benise with me because she loves the show, too. Let me just say that I am so glad I went. It's not easy to stun me to silence, but when I walked up to that table I could barely remember who I was. Joe was unbelievably gorgeous and so very nice. I completely forgot Rutina, or anyone else for that matter, was there. LOL!! I felt so bad afterwards that I barely said two words to her. Not my fault! Now, when it came time to take the picture I was trying really hard to hold Lola in a way that wasn't killing my arms, tough since I had been holding her for over an hour!! Of course, Dana (she works with my husband and obviously has a loud mouth. LOL!!) yells out.."Stop trying to hide that baby!!" I honestly was not trying to hide her, I was barely able to get down in between them in a position that didn't look like I was a hunchback or somethin' like that. Here's that embarrassing photo......

Yes, they were, indeed, laughing at me. -_- Just look how massive that man is!! But I managed to get in there, but I was laughing so hard and struggling to hold Lola up, I look like crap. Posting it anyway!

Lola looks good. :) My friend took these pictures and she said she was so busy looking at him that I'm lucky I'm in the picture at all. HAH! Thanks, Benise. -_- I was able to snap a few sneaky pictures and well, here they are. Ladies, you're welcome....

He caught me taking this picture. heheheee

-drools-

6 A.M.

Although I am not a fan of getting up early, there is just something about the beginning of the school year that gets me all excited. I'm all gung ho about it for a month or so, then I slow down. Then comes Halloween and I'm all wound up again!! Then comes nooooooovemmmmberrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......and I slow down again. Not my favorite month, if you couldn't tell. The beginning of the school year is filled with excitement! The kids are excited to meet new friends, learn new things and I'm excited to get back into a routine. Our Summer has been wonderful. Filled with lots of activities, day trips, relaxing/lazy days and just plain having fun. I'm going to be sad to see it gone. I'm not ready for the Fall yet. I'm usually very excited at this point, but not this year. Maybe that will change once the kids are in school. We'll see. For now I'm going to enjoy all the new things happening in my life and my children's lives. I'm a Mom of a highschooler now!! And my son is going to be starting preschool! Completely unbelievable. :) I feel like I'm experiencing two very important phases of my children's lives at the same time. My son is beginning his journey, and my daughter is beginning the end of hers.

I think everyone knows how much I love taking pictures, so lets take a look back at my two babies when they were babies......

Raven.....

Lex.....

Making Progress......

Very slowly, but surely, we are making progress.....

She is no longer fighting me when I try to put them on her.............

She actually has no problem wearing them, playing, running or climbing when she wears her AFO's.......

And that makes me, and her, very, very happy.......

I Don't Let My Babies Cry It Out.........I DON'T!

When I first got pregnant 15 years ago I swore I would never let my baby cry it out at night. I wouldn't. And I didn't. Then came Lex, and again I swore to never let him cry it out either. Same thing with him, I never did even though he wasn't the best sleeper. I would get up when he needed me. Then came Lola. I didn't even have to say the words....she was the perfect sleeper from day one! Perfect! She fell asleep on her own, in her own bed and never once made a sound. :) It was wonderful. She got older and we still never had any problems. Then something happened about 2 months ago. I started noticing that she was waking up crying at 3 a.m. every night. I would have to go down, change her and sometimes I'd even have to give her a bottle to soothe her when I wasn't enough. Then last month it got worse. Bedtime became a nightmare. Not just for me, but for her as well. She would scream, fight, try to get out of her crib, scream some more......it was horrible. And it hasn't gotten any better.

I figured that she was starting to go through something, the fear phase. All children go through it, but what the heck do I with her? I've been going in to get her and letting her fall asleep on the couch next to me. I know, I know....BAD idea!! You don't have to tell me just how bad of an idea that is. But I can't help it. She never complains, she hardly cries unless she needs something or is hurt, she's so sweet and so cute and I don't let my babies cry it out! I don't! But, I did. And guess what? She's alive, and she's fine. It kills me to do it, it really does, but that is my only choice. She cries for maybe 5 minutes, but in those 5 minutes I have to bite my lip to keep from running to her. I'm hoping this won't last long. I hate listening to her cry. If for some reason this doesn't stop, and she throws these fits at bedtime, I plan on buying a rocker/glider so I can rock her to sleep. Kevin thinks that's a bad idea. Hmph! This coming from a guy who still lays with our son till he falls asleep. Hypocrite. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks, if this continues or gets worse, I will do what I need to do to make her happy again.